Family Independence

I met a taxi driver today who had just completed his masters of accounting in Adelaide. His parents (from Pakistan) sent him here to do his degree. What struck me was that his family is very well off in Pakistan, doing that import/export business (one day, I'll do that and get rich!) and had offered to pay for all his expenses here. But this guy was very adamant that he would make his own way here, that he wouldn't ask his parents for money. And so he works nights as a taxi driver, and studies during the day. It makes for some hard hours, and I asked him about his grades, but he believes (barring one subject) he's doing pretty good in general.

That rite of passage, to prove that one can live independently of one's family, is something most young adults do during those uni years. I remember my own episode in those uni years where I felt I had to prove to my dad that I was financially independent, that I didn't need his car or his place to live, that I could find my own way. It was a foolish quest, and it failed spectacularly (I didn't move out nor give up the car :)) but it must have somehow laid the foundations for my belief that my parents don't owe me anything, nor for me to be stuck in a position where I continue to depend on my parents.

I'm glad that I got a scholarship during uni, as it meant that I was able to spend my own money, and do what I wanted to do. I think that Asian families don't quite have that Western mentality of "you're 18 now, you're on your own", but some of that Western upbringing must have rubbed off on me.
Having moved out about 5 years ago, and now about to move overseas, I definitely feel that I am an independent young adult, making my own way in the world.

There may be a time when I will see my parents as equals, but not yet. I may have passed my rite of passage, but I'm still a kid in the family.

Africa & China

There has been significant investments from China to the African nations. In this article outlining the effects and impacts that Chinese investments have had, it has struck me that China is taking a much more global role. Whilst the majority of the efforts are for profit, much like the United States, it seeks to influence in other geographical and political areas outside of its direct control.

Where the difference lies is the lack of transparency and lack of accountability in the way these things are done, on both sides of the world. In China, the driving motive of profit has led to a very "no meddling" policy for the money that China provides, in return for the raw materials. This in turn has allowed many African rulers to funnel this money for their own uses, or to ignore rules placed on them from other Western donors.

It is like colonialism, but a much more hands-off model. Will China be able to influence the direction and course of Africa this way? In the global arena, having allies in the form of African nation votes would definitely balance out the US and European voting block.

But will this new type of "colonialism" be workable? I think the memories of previous colonists are still there in the minds of those people. Nothing comes for free...

It would be surprising if the African nations let it happen again.

The Art Of Negotiation

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a confrontational kind of guy. And hence it's always with trepidation that I went into my negotiations for the US transfer. What they had given me as the first offer was a bit light on the transfer allowance...actually super light on the transfer allowance.

I was planning to talk to my financial controller (who is the one arranging this transfer and he was the one who gave me the initial offer) but was pulled aside by my CIO to ask what's wrong with it.

The funny thing was that I had prepared all these answers, but in front of the CIO, they just didn't come out! What came out was putting numbers on the table, discussion of things that I was training myself not to talk about ie Bec's transfer. I'm just glad I didn't sign anything!

Still, all is not lost, and I subsequently had my meeting with the financial controller and have made my requests (without giving away all my numbers yet). Fingers crossed!

The things that I have learnt from this experience:

• It definitely takes practice. Things have the potential to get heated, and it takes a calm mind to argue logically through it and emphasise the points that I want to.
• I may not have been 100% with the arguments they were going to raise, but it was good to have gone through and thought out what objections I needed to be able to reply to.
• I suck in terms of standing up or not divulging information to my boss! I don't know if others have the same issue, but when he says "name the number", or "tell me what your partner will most likely get" it's very hard to not say anything concrete. Much like when he says "jump", I would say "how high?"
  
• The less numbers the better. Or rather, don't name a number until the other side has named one. Even then they may name another one first before you have to say anything.
• Clarify assumptions that they have made, or else they may be basing their offer on information that is incorrect.
• Silence is golden whilst looking people in the eye. It shows you mean business.
• Have a laugh once in a while! Negotiating should be an enjoyable exercise, because in the end, both parties should be happy.

And a point that was told to me: leave something at the table, because there is no doubt that you will have to deal with the other party again in the future.

Beauty And The Geek

It's been too long since i have watched Fox 8! There was this show called "Beauty and the Geek" that features 8 hot chicks paired up with 8 nerds. It's some quasi-Survivor type show, with people winning immunity from challenges.

But the main thrust of the show is to demonstrate the "other side of the coin" for those people who have not encountered such hotness/geekness before.

By far the best one from my intensive research (ie it was the only one I watched) was the first season. It was a strange thing, but I felt a certain sense of pride for those "geeks" that were willing to have a go at some reality TV show. They made it to the end, and from what I saw, they seemed like better people for it.

I remember doing a self assessment and one of my traits is "includer", and part of the descriptions was as follows:

Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on the belief that each of us is different and that one should respect those differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same.

In the interviews afterwards, the contestants were saying "oh, we had nothing to say when we first met, but we built up a rapport as we got to know each other". It has been my sincere belief that everyone can relate to each other, if you make the effort. There are no people out that that you cannot find some commonality with. It's good to see a show that demonstrates that (and have some random hot tub scenes with the 'beauties' :))