Directness

So I see this girl at a club.  A bit of eye contact, a bit of a smile.
I was (as usual!) dancing by myself.  She ends up dancing next to me.  More smiling, more dancing.
The following conversation occurs:
K: "Hi, what's your name?"
Girl: "Hi I'm Chrstine."
K: "I'm Kev, nice to meet you."
Girl: "So am I hot?"

What?? To be honest, it was so out of the blue that I was a bit shocked.

K: "hahahaha, Ok lah!"
Girl: (turns away)...

Yes, it was in reality the worst of all answers that I could have said.  There is a concept of honest vulnerability that is not as much "game" but rather just being yourself, and be willing to own up to your thoughts and actions.  Thinking this through a bit more, I need to embrace that honesty more.  Truthfully she was hot, and I thought she was hot as well.  Yes, she was fishing for a compliment.  But fine, I will give that compliment, and I should not care about how she takes it, because the compliment is what I feel at that time, without reservation.

So I think the best answer would have been:
K: "Yes you are, but why do you ask?"

Networking

Just went to a boat cruise today with lots of new people.  Always good to meet new friends, and I think some of these people are ballers! :)

If I am to stay here in SG for a long period of time, and especially if I am going to do more business, it makes a lot of sense to network more and develop a better connection with the "SG upper class".  That's always been one area where I have not put enough thought into.  I just meet people and have fun.  But in SG, probably more so than in Syd or New York, having that connection is a very advantageous thing to have.

The clash is that I always want to do concepts that bring people in.  Hence I am such a mass market fan.  There is less of the "oh if I piss this person off, my business is ruined" concept.  I was talking to a friend that wanted to get into yacht sales, and I was thinking, that is an extremely small market.

I should just continue to be willing to go to new parties and meet new people.  Club meeting is not as good as you can't really talk and everyone is mostly smashed.  Junk boat parties are a good start!

Matches

What am I looking for?

1. Alpha.  Self confident, comfortable in her skin. Someone who is honest in her intention and communication.
2. Laughs a lot, positive outlook on life.  Has a wonderful smile.  Loves to dance is a plus.
3. Passionate about making an impact in life.

Where would I find these people?  Tango class?  Entrepreneur meet ups?  Charity functions?  Yoga class?

Beliefs - What do I believe?
1. Women enjoy sex as much as men.
2. Honesty is tough to do, but ultimately the more rewarding.
3. We should always be trying to grow to be a better person.
4. Alignment in life makes one enjoy life more.
5. Inherently women are attracted to me.
6. What you do as a job matters less than how you do it.
7. That not everyone in the world needs to like me.
8. That it is not ok to not have an opinion.  Don't force it on other people, but I must have a stand.
9. That we should always have a perception of ourselves that matters more than the perception that others have of us,

Become a leader of my interests.  Really get involved in the Argentine tango scene if that is what interests me.

Disappointment

I am disappointed with myself and my ability.  Being curious about the emotion, it says this to be "that I am not able to achieve the goal that I had set for myself at the beginning of this year, to be more reckless".
I need to stop freezing up, stop allowing my friends to introduce me to people, instead of going up to them myself.

It doesn't help that an old torch was there tonight.  Disappointment in seeing her, and seeing what could have been.  Probably not helpful that she was drunk and dancing with me!  So it was double disappointment.

So what's the new goal?

The new goal is to find the right partner.  However, prior to that, the goal is to be willing to talk to any girl that want to. Don't care what I say, just hi!  Be happy and make other people happy!

True Confidence is being less invested in other people’s perceptions of you than in your perception of yourself.

Don't care what they say!  Just do it!  I shrug if the women I pursue has no interest in me. Such is life :)
Continue to invest in myself.  Make myself the best person I can be.  Then find someone who will meet my standard.  If they do not, walk away. Be benevolently selfish with the women in my life.
"Hi my name is Kev, I think you are very pretty and I just wanted to say hi.  So what are we celebrating tonight?"  "What is your favourite thing in the world?"

Rejection exists for a reason — it’s a means to keep people who are not good for each other apart. Remember that it's ok to be rejected.  No one will die, especially not me!
And for God's sake please move on from the old torch.  No use carrying that one around!  I can do one final proclamation?? :)  Just remember boundaries.  If we are friends, then we shouldn't be grinding each other.  Respect my boundary.  Next time remember that.

Success = Maximizing happiness with whichever woman/women we prefer 

What stories am I telling myself?
That dancing by myself it ok, and I shouldn't meet people directly.  That is wrong!
That I am no good at approaching new women.  I am actually ok, sometimes it's a nudge.  But I don't like it that people have to introduce them to me.  I should be going up to them myself.
That I hate rejection.  I am changing that story to say that rejection is good as it separates the right women for me compared to the wrong women, and the sooner I find out, the better!
When approaching, I pretend I have apathy to the girl when really I am interested.  I do care and I do want to meet that girl.  Say hi to every girl that I think is cute, no matter what happens.  Just hi and introduce myself!!  It is not hard!

But confidence simply means to feel the fear and not let it define you. True Confidence is feeling the fear and deciding that something else is more important.  

Step by step, keep training the approach muscle.  Start with less difficult actions, move to more difficult ones.

Japan and Plan C

It has (again) been a while since I've updated. Apologies to family members that have been waiting breathlessly for the latest news!
First off, Japan. Bringing skis is good in theory, but slightly annoying when having to carry three other bags. I was unlucky with the snow in Niseko, somehow getting the only 4 days of sunshine for Feb. Tokyo was a blast, eating, drinking, partying. I totally recommend going to Shibuya 109, the all female department store just to check out the cutey chicks! My new favourite look, the short shorts, off shoulder top and heels. Hot!
Hoping to get to Korea at the start of April, there's so much hype for that place!

On a completely different topic, I think I understand what being a "Plan C" for someone feels like. They enjoy your company, have fun conversations over chat, willing to say yes to dates, but they NEVER initiate. You never feel like it is quite right. In essence, you are not their "Plan A", and if they are your "Plan A", then it kind of sucks.
The question then becomes, can one move from being a "Plan C" to "Plan A"? From my experience, I think the answer is no. The only real method is to make them a "Plan C", through mental and emotional discipline, and pace oneself. Don't "give all your cookies away", as a friend once told me. (As an aside, telling them that you like them may not be that bad. At least everyone is clear on where they stand).
Such is life. To all the people that suffer this syndrome, you have my sympathies!

Taiwanese Dramas

As part of my ongoing Mandarin learning, I thought I would try to watch some Taiwanese drama. Get immersed in it, hear it spoken around me. I could never understand, though, why my ex would follow it like some form of addiction. Having experienced Asian drama on the periphery, I should have known.

The one I got recommended was "Fated To Love You". (Fact: This series broke all TV watching records, garnering 10% of the Taiwanese population for one of its episodes). I was hooked. I watched multiple episodes in one sitting. I had originally planned to watch each episode twice to catch the words, but that went out the window after Episode 2.

Things that I have learned from watching Taiwanese dramas:
1. What RC said in the comments from that Korean movie post: "Persistence...is a necessary part of the dating process, to push yourself past what would normally be 'comfortable' by Western dating standards." This definitely holds true.

2. There is excessive "drama for the sake of drama" in this series. Some of the scenes, though, were indeed quite touching and I would admit that I welled up a bit during the first mom-daughter chat when she was leaving the household to live with her new family.

3. When you are a director of a vast family business, you don't have many day-to-day responsibilities, and can enjoy the luxury of time to do daily ceramic classes to woo back your girl.

4. The "instant replay" mode of dramatic scenes is heavily utilised for added effect. I think I heard one phrase repeated 7 times, from seven different angles.

5. No one has the ability to say what they really want to say or feel. The true feelings are always found out in some excruciatingly roundabout way, possibly via some recording (video/voice/letter).

6. Even the "not hot underdog girl" is quite hot.

I had a great time watching this series. As they say with many things, the first time is the most memorable. I still have the theme song in my head playing on repeat.

Judging from these shows, I think my approach to women has to definitely change if I'm going to Asia!

Hong Kong #2

It was wonderful to see the extended family again, I can't believe how many folks made it over. I've been relegated to the "younger" kids table, not mature enough to hang with my older cousins (all of whom have kids). I did chaperon my younger cousins for New Years Eve, felt very responsible there :)

Had a fantastic seafood dinner, near Kwun Tong. There is a specific "seafood market" next to the restaurants where you get to choose the specific food that you want for that night. Yum.

Got to hang with Jay and Glorya, and see their business in action. I'm inspired! It's fun to talk to friends that have taken a different path, and the trials and tribulations that come with that path. I wish them all the best in the new year.

Of course there was some additional partying. Billion, Play, Vola, random other names of places I can't remember. For the first time my "don't talk, just dance" approach landed some success!
I have come to the conclusion that I need to be more of a baller. It's expensive to party in HK, possibly even worse than NYC. If only I was hot enough for other people to buy me drinks...

More photos uploaded of people and landscapes.

I miss the (relatively) warm weather already!

I Feel Used.

I've heard about it here and there, but never experienced it myself until last night.
Random girl comes up and dances up close. She's fairly cute, I'm a willing partner.

I suggest to go have drinks at the bar, she obliges.
One mixed drink, one shot, of course paid for by me, as I asked her to go to the bar. Conversation flows fairly easily, I learned that she's doing dentistry.

Back to the dance floor, a bit more dancing, then it's "I gotta take this call, will be back". Never comes back.

Warning signs for the future:
1. The fact that she wanted to down a mix drink. Who does that??
2. The "let's get back on the dance floor" call quite soon after the drinks were finished
3. The (possibly fake, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt) phone call to move away from the dance area

Let that be a lesson for all you single guys out there! Still, the dancing was pretty good :)

Rollercoaster

If there's one thing that I have learned being single, it's that there is much less of a consistency to life. Really it is just higher highs and lower lows, and that's tough sometimes, especially when in a foreign city.

There is an unrivaled freedom in being single. Going hard on a Tuesday night, staying in on a Saturday, meet up with people on the spur of the moment...don't get me wrong, being in a relationship does not prevent you in any way from doing this, it's usually prior plans and consideration for your partner that would limit the number of those "why the heck not?" questions being answered in the positive. The calendar becomes a lot more fluid when I am single.

Of course, the loneliness can be quite depressing. Waiting for friends to call you back, staying in on Saturday because there are no plans, it's quite easy to spiral downwards with those "what am I doing here?" questions. This is the first time I have lived by myself as well, which magnifies these thoughts as there is no one to interact with. On the positive side, It is also a learning experience. To be able to rely on myself, back myself, it's something that I am slowly learning. At least my cooking is getting better!

The possible key is to just fill up the calendar with activities. Stop waiting for things to happen and make them happen myself. Let's see how that turns out. Acting class starts Monday.

Opening A Set

One thing that I've seen recently is this series called the "Pick Up Artist". Now, some people, when they first saw this series and told me about it, said that they automatically thought of me. Why?? :) Perhaps when I was a young turk I had many theories on relationships. Having watched the series, perhaps I should have taken some of those notes instead of making my own! Ah, water under the bridge.

What I did find interesting was the transformation of the guys themselves. To see them from when they first started to where they ended up at the end of the series was quite remarkable. True, the lines are hammed up, and sound a bit strange, but it all boils down to the confidence and belief of the guy in himself. I did like some of the moves, one where the guy spins the girl around, and in the process takes the seat she was sitting in. Gold!

So single guys, if you want some quality education in approaching girls, check it out. The series itself doesn't give that much material, but it's fun to watch.

Girls, if you ever hear the line, "so did you see the fight outside with two girls?", tell them "you mean the one where on of the girl's breast popped out?", that will stop their opening :)

Enjoy The Present

Talking to a friend the other day, and we were comparing the qualities of being in a relationship and being single. Being in a relationship means that I am very much in sync with my girlfriend's activities, and her with mine. We know where the other person is with a fairly high level of accuracy. Being single, on the other hand, means that you are free to come and go as you please. Go overseas for a while, take a day off work, try out a new hobby on a weeknight....all these things are possible because you have that freedom.

Another friend of mine talks about their singleness as if it's a really bad condition that they want to get rid of as soon as possible. What I have realised is that you have to take the good and the bad. You can be a when you're single, but at the risk of loneliness. You can have the comfort and companionship when you're going out, but at the risk of not being able to "play".

What it comes down to is that you should enjoy the present, and enjoy the situation as much as you can. Don't wish to be single when you're a couple, and don't wish to be a couple when you're single, because in reality the other side of the fence is never ever as good as you think it is. And if you do try to have your cake and eat it at the same time, it works for about a month....after that, someone is bound to get hurt.

Squeezy

Yes, I have no original thoughts on this website :) Click through to get the full size pic.



Damn! two cheap calls already:
HAHAHAH thats hilarious.... and yet disturbing .....
but nonetheless..... HAHAHAHAH
Addy - 23 January '06 - 12:40

hahaha - as if you guys haven't done that yourself!

RC
randomcow - 24 January '06 - 08:25

For All The Bitter Souls Out There

Joelogon's Foolproof Guide to Making Any Woman Your Platonic Friend may just touch that nerve :)

Kudos to my good friend Peedz' remark: "Yeah well friends have sex too :P". Quality

Be sure to read the "Do's and Don'ts" page:
"DO create a web page that is vague enough to be relevant to the masses, yet specific enough so that the one, special platonic friend you've been carrying a torch for reads it, comes to her senses, and fulfills Fantasy #4"

Damn! three cheap calls already:

Well, that comment hasn't actually worked yet :(
PeeDz - 07 May '05 - 19:21

And here I was thinking the reason these girls call me at 1:00am sobbing about "that asshole" is because they *wanted* to have sex with me.

Oops.

RC
randomcow - 11 May '05 - 16:54

Is that what you did to this online forum to score the attention and affections of my wingwoman? Smooth man, smooth...
so - 21 June '05 - 16:38

The Player Syndrome

A friend of mine told me a story of when she first met me. Just after we met, someone asked her:
"Have you met Kev before?", to which she replied in the negative. Her friend's response (or some variant of this):

"He's quite friendly, but he's a bit of a player"

What the...??

The reasoning was that I flirted with a lot of chicks when I'm out and about.
I've always been of the thought that being a player implies a certain sense of purpose to your actions, that you deliberately set out to mislead a girl for some booty calling. Can a person be an "accidental" player? Isn't that a contradiction in terms? If you are just a friendly person, can that be misconstrued as "playing"?

Most of the time I do not wish for such a title. It has the potential to detract from chicks that might actually like me, to be a bit more guarded when they chat. However, I'm generally an optimist, and would like to look at it from a different perspective...at least I don't stop meeting new people!

You just have to be honest with your intentions, I think. If casual is what you want, then say it. There's no right and wrong in these situations. If I'm feeling the same, I'll let you know.

Oh well, as my good friend Jo says "let a player play, y'all!"

Damn! 23 cheap calls already:

you know, certain girls can be drawn to these kinds of reputations too ... you knooow you want it babee!
al - 12 September '04 - 23:49

Just be thankful you don't suffer from the "nice guy syndrome" - trust me, it's not that great!
shuai - 13 September '04 - 04:09

Flirting = playing? I tend to agree that some people are naturally flirty, touchy-feely and sociable, which can be misconstrued as playing as you say. You would fit into this category, no?

The word 'player' often has negative connotations, but to me it simply means a person who is not looking for a serious relationship. As long as a)you're honest b)you're single c) the ppl you play with are single too, then the world's your oyster. Play away. Go Jookboy go.
beckster (link) - 13 September '04 - 05:24

Man, you're not a player. A player 'plays someone', in terms such as you have fun with people, play them for what you think they're worth so to speak, and then move on. Players may also string women along, in multiples usually, and I don't think you do that, do you?

If you can safely say to yourself that you don't play women like puppets, that you aren't just out to use women like your name was 'Pimpin Hoes' Chung, that you don't cheat on the ladies that you're seeing... if you can say these things to yourself and truly believe them, then you're not a player. You're just a single guy, and like a lot of the other single guys out there, you're just trying to meet someone. You can't do that by keeping to yourself and twiddling your thumbs right?
Dre - 13 September '04 - 07:05

I'm with dre. I don't think u r a player in the sense of the word we use today. U don't set out with negative intentions towards the women u are friendly with. Any reputation u get as such is more a factor of ur relative environment, i.e. what the people around u regard as the norm. U'd be goody 2 shoes over here jb.
pskis - 13 September '04 - 08:32

don't worry dude, i wouldn't rate you as a "player" in the true sense of the word.. extremely jolly, very friendly, tremendously hypo (esp when usher's on) - yes, but not a player :)
so (email) - 13 September '04 - 13:24

I totally agree with dre and pskis too. You;re not a player in the negative sense. But i can see why ppl say that. To me you're just overly friendly and like making friends and are 'playing' the field which does not mean u play around with gals hearts and then squish them. So in that sense, PLAY ON!.

Meanwhile, beckster is a wanna-be-player HAHAHAHA Stop breaking guys hearts you foxy chick you!.
Addy - 13 September '04 - 14:22

Don't you just LOVE how everyone's saying you're 'overly friendly' JB? What's that supposed to mean, is that akin to being overly nice or overly helpful ie. too much of a positive makes a negative?? Agree with Dre, you're a single dude trying to meet the one, that ain't going to happen while you knit booties at home.

Whaaaat?! Addy you're creating a rep for me on JB's blog! And if anything I'm the real thing, not a wannabe =p.
beckster (link) - 13 September '04 - 18:14

Quality cheap calls round!

- Break out from that nice guy syndrome Shuai!
- Yes, touchy-feely and sociable I am. Aren't you the same...or that only on Friday nights? :P
- No multiple action Dre, and no cheating. It's all about trust
- Yes, pskis, Vietnam is a next port of call
- Usher Usher!
- Wanna-be-players unite! :)
JookBoy (link) - 13 September '04 - 19:38

I agree with your friend Jo.

Let a playa play ya'll...shhiaaat~
ricegrains (link) - 13 September '04 - 20:02

"Overly friendly" could be an issue. Maybe I just need to direct that friendliness a bit more!
JookBoy (link) - 13 September '04 - 20:28

BECKY IS A PLAYER! SHE Broke my heart!!! DAMN YOU BIATCHHHH :P
Addy - 14 September '04 - 04:34

well Becks.. you DID pick me up in a club... and our relationship has grown from strength to strength since. I got them butterflies that you talk about on your blog that nite... :) *sigh* hee hee
so - 14 September '04 - 04:54

hmm...the comment your friend made after someone asked her when she first met you...well that was the same conclusion i had after i first met you too.

someone asked what i thought of you, and as a first impression your are very friendly...but the more i saw you, i came to realise that it was part of your nature to be a really friendly, fun-loving guy w/genuine intentions...nothing player like.

dont change...
petals - 14 September '04 - 07:39

I'm touchy-feely and sociable on saturday nights too JB =p. See how many of us luv you the way you are? Don't change. Perhaps re-direct as you say, but don't change.

Addy: I thought I broke your shoulders, not your heart! Let's go bench-press together biatch.

I got butterflies from you as well So, maybe you can help me strengthen that player image and pump up the girl-on-girl action to make the boys drool. Still swear it was YOU who picked me up at 333!! You're just in denial over how much you were attracted to me!!
beckster (link) - 14 September '04 - 08:10

My conclusion after first meeting u jb was that u were a bit of a d!ck. U were wearing a Goofy tie (or was it a badge?) and u were mopping up the drink i'd spilled on my school uniform with ur own trouser leg.
Thank goodness u don't wear Goofy accessories anymore.
pskis - 14 September '04 - 10:31

di - at least that we know of!!! send me an email - lost your deets
bjee - 14 September '04 - 10:53

"The same conclusion"? Noooo....
And why do people keep asking other people what their first impressions of me are??

hehe, yes Bec, I'll keep that in mind :P

pskis, I swears there was no towel around. Obviously trying to be a gentlemen doesn't cut it anymore :)
Yes, fortunately I came to my senses, and the Goofy accessories have been archived.
JookBoy (link) - 14 September '04 - 13:14

errr... i know i'm going to get my arse wooped for this call, but kev, could it be cause you're hanging out with the stereotypical asian crowd most of the time? and the ppl in that crowd are probably very "straight", very "moralistic", and consider anything outside of holding hands - playing around? harsh over-generalisation, but you get the picture. now excuse me while i run for cover -reenie hides out in a nuclear bunker-
reenie - 14 September '04 - 13:34

C'mon Reenie...you know better than that! As the alpha-stereotype-Asian-crowd-male, I can safely say that...well, we won't swoop.

For now.

You have been warned.

Hee~ :)
ricegrains (link) - 14 September '04 - 16:45

Player?! You WISHZ0r you was a playaZ0r!!! LOL.

at least your not known as "Dodgy Kev".. imagine that :)

Ok ok, when someone asks me about you I will say "oh, you mean the strikingly handsome, movie star esque ex-model stripper Kev? Yeah.. he's cool"
PeeDz - 14 September '04 - 17:35

reenie, you're probably right, with regards to that we have conservative friends. I think pskis has mentioned that numerous times.

Yes, Dodgy Kev doesn't have that good "ring" about it
Cheers mate, you're all one can ask for in a friend :P
And considering our next skit, I think we're "current"-model stripper!
JookBoy (link) - 15 September '04 - 06:12

Yes, that ex-stripper has turned out to be quite prophetic....
PeeDz - 26 September '04 - 17:47

Actions Or Words?

What do you believe in? What someone says or what they do?

I was listening to the radio this morning, and they had people people ringing in with regards to who had the most boring relationship. A girl rang up to say that she and her boyfriend had been going out for 17 months, and he had never gone outside of his place with him (obviously they must have been doing things at home which was entertaining enough! But I digress...)

The point is that there are people who are complaining how bad it is, and yet they are still plugging away at the relationship. Yes, I can understand the odd complaint here and there about how their partner doesn't do exactly what they want, but for 17 months??

Anyways, a friend directed me to a quality site for guys. The real interesting part (of course) is the dating section. The whole basis of the advice is to retain an air of "mystery" about you, to keep the girl's interest levels high by being a "Challenge" and all sorts of fun stuff. The main point though is this. That when girls give those excuses that we have all heard, that's what they are, excuses. Never rationalise a girl's behaviour. And the other point is that girls will not let a small setback throw them off if they are actually interested in you.

So then if actions mean a lot more than words, where does that leave the grinding part? Is that just a random event? I've come to the conclusion that grinding opens the door, but doesn't let you in. It's short term fun, with no long term promise. Curse that social lubricant they call alcohol! :)

And thanks to everyone that turned up to the party on Saturday night. I had an awesome time!

Damn! 19 cheap calls already:

So...what you're trying to say is that you got your grind awwn, but are just leaving it at that?

Why not follow up the action with a word?
ricegrains (link) - 24 July '04 - 19:45

... or more action?
xtn (link) - 25 July '04 - 06:19

why do you want to curse the social lubricant called alcohol? Do girls grind against you at any time other than when alcohol is involved? If so, then damn you got game :)

Perhaps grinding isn't the 'gateway' to that which you seek?
taipan - 25 July '04 - 07:59

I dont quite understand why people stay in relationships that they are not happy with and yet complain...change the direction in which it is heading (or lack there of).

About the air of Mystery, to remain a Challenge...thats the same advice women are given about men. BUT, the point about girls and setbacks:

"...girls will not let a small setback throw them off if they are actually interested in you."

I dont think that is entirely true...because even if she is honestly interested and there is an obstacle (more like a couple small setbacks)...most likely...she will move right along and give up. We do get thrown off the track, as much as boys do.
petals - 25 July '04 - 10:09

I'm not saying that there's no follow-up...I'm just saying that you shouldn't over-commit. It's all about self control.

It depends on the level of alcohol when the said grinding occurs, and that's hard to judge :)
Yes, maybe it isn't the gateway, which is why it's just short term fun.

Then, petals, the thought follows that she wasn't genuinely interested. Persistence wins in the end, I am sure. It's a matter of testing their resolve :)

Actually, I've reread this entry. It doesn't make that much sense!
JookBoy (link) - 25 July '04 - 13:49

to keep the girl's interest levels high by being a "Challenge" and all sorts of fun stuff

If you are too challenging I think a girl would just give up, she's going to wonder why she's wasting her time on someone who isn't entirely responsive when she could be seeing someone else. There's only so many games a person can take :)
riss (email) (link) - 25 July '04 - 14:11

i agree with riss. its the same with you boys. if the gal plays too hard to get too much, u get bored and give up. its a bit of both. and for that comment about complaining about relationships, i think most ppl complain a litttle about things in relationships. However you sometimes/rarely hear about all the good stuff of that relationship. Very few relationships dont have little issues, if they didnt, it mite get boring if anything. Big issues, thats a whole different blog for you.
addy - 25 July '04 - 15:06

oh yeh, grinding....
i think grinding means more to guys than gals. it opens a little door....cos if she wasnt interested in you AT ALL, she would run....
addy - 25 July '04 - 15:09

If she wasnt interested in your AT ALL, she hasn't had enough drinks :D

And whats so strange about staying in a bad rship. Remember, not all people have had the cosy upbringings most of us have had. For some ppl, its their only avenue for at least some sort of intimacy and companionship, its so easy to blind yourself to the negatives.

For some, bad is better than alone.
Peedz - 25 July '04 - 15:48

you're right, the entry didn't make much sense (hehe)

actions will always speak louder than words

and thanks for an awesome night on saturday. haven't had one of those in years!
al (email) - 26 July '04 - 12:15

i dont disagree about persistance, i wrote a blog about persistance paying off! altho, the amount of time you would spend being persistant each different person will vary, right? if it was a shorter span of time, it doesnt mean u werent genuinely interested...it just means u woke up earlier and realised that maybe that person isnt right for you if they arent showing an interest back and/or they keep playing games with you? which riss' point comes in...there are only so many games a person can take, girl or boy.
petals - 27 July '04 - 09:46

"altho, the amount of time you would spend being persistant each different person will vary, right?"

Yes, exactly. So the point is to separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were.

And what they are saying is that what chicks define as "right" is most likely someone whom they see as a challenge.

If you know they're playing games you quit, but obviously being a challenge is a little bit different.
JookBoy (email) (link) - 28 July '04 - 14:37

the type of girl that we want to be attracted to us is probably in high demand from plenty of others. make it too much of a challenge for them, and they'll just go movin' onto the next hot stud!
al - 29 July '04 - 00:34

Al, are those the chicks that will just thumb you through and through? :)
JookBoy (link) - 06 August '04 - 07:05

I think the best way to remain a 'challenge' to girls is just to have heaps of girlfriends. That way you are a challenge naturally. You don't have to pretend to be busy on Fri and Sat nights, and so organise a breakfast date for Wednesday morning coz that's the only time you can fit it in.

Being desirable to women is a lifestyle, not a couple of things you can memorise from a men's help webpage.

RC
randomcow - 08 August '04 - 11:00

Can I clarfy that as actual girlfriends, or just friends that are chicks? Cause I'm sure my buds would call me a "ho" (some already do!)
JookBoy (link) - 08 August '04 - 18:52

You know, we can refer to them as whatever we want. Guys don't really care about labels - the chicks can keep track of where the relationship is at any point in time. Chicks care about this kind of stuff.

But to help define it, "Females you are already shagging, or are working on." How's that?

And yes, you're a ho.

RC
randomcow - 09 August '04 - 04:26

Thanks :)

I think I would hit a moral issue with shagging becoming a plural. Maybe that's why I don't have that challenge about me.
JookBoy (link) - 10 August '04 - 06:51

maybe.

:)
randomcow - 10 August '04 - 07:05

I Saw Four Girls Kissing Each Other

Melbournians seem to party harder than Sydney-siders! Everyone that I encountered at this club was (or was acting) substantially more drunk than people back home...or maybe it was just the people I met? :)

Anyways, getting back to the title of this post (it wasn't just for getting the hits on the website up, I swear!) I have to admit that I didn't particularly enjoy the spectacle of it, and since most people (guys, especially) would look at me in shock, let me try to explain it...more so for my own benefit.

So it goes something like this.

In most of these situations of girls pashing other girls, they are at a level of intoxication that is close to intolerable (unless, of course, you are that way inclined, in which case this does not apply). It's very hard at that point in time to have a decent conversation with that girl. Hence there is nothing that I can find from their personality that makes me like them. Hence I didn't particularly enjoy the spectacle.

Did that make sense?

However, I did towards the end of the night meet a chick that I could talk to properly, and she was, in my eyes, much cooler than the rest. And no, nothing happened, for those cheap call makers out there!

I think the promise of drunk booty has never been high on my list of ways to hook up, and have reached an age where a good conversation is a million times better than grinding from some random inebriated chick. Of coure, grinding from a chick I just had a good conversation with is probably a million times better than just a conversation! haha

For those who are coming down to Melbourne some-time soon, and would like to go to some quality R'n'B clubs, Amber Lounge was pretty good on Friday nights. Evolution is also on Friday nights, but it seems to have more of that attitude. I think Amber Lounge had a more friendly atmosphere. Of course, Next Blue is on Saturday nights, which I went to in October...won't be there tonight, since I'll be back home.

A big thanks to James for taking me out and letting me crash at his pad. You da man mate!

I've always wondered if I'd have the courage when a chick says to me "want to see two girls kiss" to ask if I can get involved...the answer it seems, is I'm still waiting for that courage :)

Damn! six cheap calls already:

i've seen 6 girls pashing. and they were my friends. ah, memories of drunken high school parties.
riss (email) (link) - 29 May '04 - 17:56

I've just worked out, the event always sounds better when you hear about it second-hand!

It's a fantasy thing, I suppose...sadly reality never lives up to the dream :)
JookBoy (link) - 29 May '04 - 20:35

good conversations _really_ _are_ hard to come by these days, the thing is there are always reservations from one or both parties just because one or both think the other party has a hidden agenda, which is kinda blah...

maybe i should've posted this on that 'nice guy' entry by dolla bill.

whatever.
ue - 30 May '04 - 05:44

Keeeeeeeeeeeeev, maate your problem is that to get onto drunk chicks, you have to be maggared yourself, then it makes more sense :)

re: ppl partying harder down there, its just the company you keep in Syd :P

Also, I dunno bout you, but I dont know about going into a niteclub if you want good conversation, its like looking for peace in Iraq :P
Peedz - 01 June '04 - 19:44

ah yes, once again trusty peedz is spot on the mark
kev i have to say your comment went pear shaped as soon as you said "let me explain"...
see y'all on fri 25th
bjee - 07 June '04 - 18:45

The Curse Of Knowing Too Many People

I liked someone once. Sadly she was my flatmate's girlfriend's sister.
I liked someone else once. Sadly she was a friend of my ex.
I liked another someone else once. Sadly she was an ex of my friend.

In all cases, the reason for their lack of interest was not because I'm a bumbling fool (although I'm sure there are people out there who may think that is almost always the case :P), but rather, because of my linkages to the other party. The worse thing about these incidents was that (for 2 of them) I didn't even meet the person via the linkages that I had just described earlier.

What is it about linkages that make people feel uneasy? Do they feel that they are "sullying" the relationshp with their friend/ex/relo by liking someone else in the group? Will they be scared of social interactions that force the three parties to be together?

Granted, I would consider it quite off-limits to go after people that were, in past history, partners with my closer friends. What about acquaintances/less-close-friends? I find that nowadays I have this gut feeling that every mid-twenties Asian I see, I know them through some "six degrees of separation". If indeed this becomes more and more true (too many Friday night drinks!), will these scenarios come back to haunt me again and again?

I damn hope not...

On another note, if (as one of the linked people admitted readily) the person isn't even that close friends to your linkage, can this be a shady excuse for "I don't really like you"? :(

Damn! 19 cheap calls already:

There had to be a downfall of some sort in knowing "too many" people, right?
I think that i could in some way link everyone who is asian in my suburb and the 5 neighbouring suburbs, back to me. My point being...I dont like your chances...hehehe ;)
petals - 11 May '04 - 06:04

if there are still issues between the link and the girl, then forget about it, but if its long gone, and you both have interest then just go for it... sometimes we (and I do this all the time) over think situations and as a result we miss out on possible "great" experiences
ding! - 11 May '04 - 12:34

Thanks for the words of positive support, petals :)

And ding, in all cases, sadly the decision was made for me...it's pretty hard work to convince someone to consider if they've already made up their mind.
JookBoy (link) - 11 May '04 - 17:12

I find jedi mind tricks quite useful on these situations, Kev.
-Stephen- (email) (link) - 11 May '04 - 20:18

in the above cases, isn't the third party being a bit selfish? if you want to be with someone, and that someone wants to be with you, then in a circumstance where the path is clear (eg: you're both single) nobody else should get in the way. they're ex'es for a reason, the relationship didn't work out. they're not meant to be together. duh. is that suppose to stop the rest of everybody's life happening? think about it this way, if it's not you, it's just going to be another guy hitting on her. what's the difference?

or so what if she's a friend of an ex? or related to someone you're close to? i don't get why the linkage should get in the way, kev. if anything, the flatmate's gf should be telling her sis what a great guy you are. your ex should be thinking, "oh well, it didn't work out with us, maybe it'll work out better between them. best of luck trying to date that bastard" *grin*
reenie - 12 May '04 - 08:36

Reenie has a good point!
the vault (email) - 12 May '04 - 09:00

Maybe I didn't make myself clear in the post. The only person who objects is the person I like. The linkage person doesn't have any problems with the situation.
JookBoy (link) - 12 May '04 - 18:46

then maybe your other note was right... maybe they are using it as an excuse. I guess the only way to overcome these situations is to have a good time and show them what they're missing out on...
ding! - 13 May '04 - 06:36

I was gonna say that Reenie has a good point, but often its not the third party who is stopping it...its the other person that you are interested in.

The third person could be oblivious to it, and had they known...because they are not selfish, would insist that the two of you go for it! But that person doesnt know...and so therefore, you cant pin it on them for being selfish.

I think its a matter of the level of awkwardness that you are willing to overcome...some people are thick-skinned and so can take whatever that comes to them...whilst others have tissue paper thin skins, and rather not go through all the tough times just for a "chance" of a relationship working with all the "messy" details attached. Which really makes it there loss, if there is a loss.

Its like some people rather not explain how they met: "Oh, well...he went out with my sister about 6 months ago...and thats when we met..." at which point things go funny...can you handle it? if you can, then go do whatever you want, if you cant...your just gonna be more cautious. (btw, i dont have a sister...so im not speaking from experience...i could have said "he went out with my brother about 6 months ago..." *LoL* but that would be a lie too!)
petals - 13 May '04 - 10:45

Moving to another country always helps kev.
And i don't mean singapore or malaysia.
pskis - 13 May '04 - 14:38

yeah, try zimbabwe. it would be freaky to find 6 degrees of separation there.
Addy - 16 May '04 - 15:33

You would be surprised Addy :)
And yes, thanks for the advice pskis...but Singapore is so much fun!! :P
JookBoy (link) - 16 May '04 - 15:50

If you didn't know that many people, you wouldn't have met these girls in the first place. Think about that.
xtn (link) - 19 May '04 - 06:01

Stuff the connections. Go it :) Lifes too short mang...
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 17:49

I thought that the whole point of the 6 degrees of seperation theory was that everyone was connected to everyone else is some way or another, its just about figuring out how to make that connection (which was the basis of the 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon game). So for example, a farmer in Zimbabwe might know someone who knows one of the dropped Zimbabwean cricketers who knows a cricket coach in Australia who's company is being audited by someone from PWC, and that auditor happened to be in the same Uni class as Kev. With that in mind, then isn't everyone connected somehow? If you keep worrying about who knows who knows who and not spend time to get to know the person that you really want to get to know better (and then let what she finds out about you be the real merits in which she dismisses your romantic attempts) aren't you just making excuses. And if the girl you are after lets worries about the clash of interconnected friendships get in the way, then maybe she has problems with wanting to commit and is herself making up excuses to run away from romantic confrontation.

Or possibly, just possibly you haven't done enough to make the girl you're after lose her inhibitions, drop her apprehensions and open herself up to you. And if you've tried and tried and things still aren't going in your favour, then it's time to move on.
Dre - 20 May '04 - 10:15

Not much trying involved, to tell you the truth. And no, I'm not the one with the issue, unless that's what is coming across in my entry...
JookBoy (link) - 20 May '04 - 11:44

Im with muthaf*kn Dre. You gotz no issuez Kev.
Peedz - 21 May '04 - 14:18

just cant understand why friends dont want to see each other the happiest they can be. past is past...
pskis... singas works just fine.
bjee - 26 May '04 - 11:31

If there is a will, there is always a way. And if it doesn't work out, then at least you've tried. If you're afraid that people will talk, rest assured, people talk anyway, if it isn't about you doing one thing, it is probably about you doing another. Who really cares?
Stan (email) - 01 June '04 - 23:39

How Many People Tickle Your Fancy?

Was having a conversation with a friend (why do we always talk about this stuff Shuai? :)) and the discussion was based around this question:

Out of the people that you meet via your friends or by yourself ie a social setting, how many of them would you like to get to know better?

Now Shuai and I varied in our responses significantly. Assuming that I take a interest in (roughly) one person a month, I think I would meet say 100 people (two new people every Friday night hehe), that equates to 12%. According to comparisons with Shuai and others, that's majorly high.

I consider myself a friendly guy, and, judging from my latest personality test, I tend to look on the positive side for most people. Much like that email spiral action (which, by the way, has come crashing down like a house of cards) if someone is friendly to me, I'll be friendly back to them. I suppose this means that I easily get interested. As a friend on mine puts it ever so eloquently, I'm "ho'ing it up" :)

On the flip side, I'm never complaining that I don't meet enough people, that there's "noone worth pursuing", that it's a nunnery. You can only control yourself, right? So for all those lonely souls out there (which includes myself), I'm writing this down. Look for the positives in people, laugh at other people's jokes, make others smile. Cause if everyone does that, pretty soon someone will do it back to you, and maybe, just maybe, the percentages won't be single digits anymore :P

Damn! 21 cheap calls already:

How about the percentage of those 12 people that you are interested in that you end up dating (at least semi-seriously)?
al - 26 April '04 - 20:58

I think you left out the "laugh at urself too" factor. I think people need to be more lightened up, opened to meeting new people and friends should try to help introduce their friends to others...cos some ppl are just shy!

I bring my girl friends to some parties that i get invited to, and i introduce them to others...but they are just too shy...i even show them how easy it is to just start talking to people...it isnt working! my endeavours are becoming fruitless!
petals - 27 April '04 - 06:20

Do you want to get to know me... intimately?
Janey - 27 April '04 - 06:42

i agree with li-shuai - you can be friendly and get along with ppl you meet and it's all good but how many do you really "click" with, where getting to know them better is something that comes naturally...
mushiejc - 27 April '04 - 17:14

Sorry, this is a long comment...

There are some people that when you meet, you just click with, and it has happened to me before...and you just talk and talk and talk to the person...this is with both male and females.

But there are some people that you need to get to know over a period of time...and see them more frequently for that "click" to occur. I've met a few people over the past month, and i have spoken to them also, not enough to make us friends or for us to click, but i think given time, we could become really good friends...

I think the problem with the lonely souls today, is that people are choosing between "clicking" or "forgetting". By this i mean, some people will meet someone, and its either they hit it off, or they wont even bother making friends with someone just because they didnt "click", which in my opinion is silly...

I think the way to decrease the lonely soul feeling is to increase the number of friends, to meet more people and let the potential in clicking to grow. Like i said earlier, sometimes you need time to become a friend with someone to realise you do click and want to be more with that person.
petals - 28 April '04 - 05:32

does anyone else reckon that the number of people that you bother to remember has decreased enourmously since university days? ever since leaving uni, if i dont click straight away, i couldnt care less about remembering people.
ron - 29 April '04 - 01:25

hmm, al, currently, looking at 1.

Sometimes, petals, do you think that you have enough good friends, and hence can't be bothered to make new ones if they don't make the cut? Cause I'm sure I can list friends that I have neglected that I should make an effort to keep in touch with.

And yes Janey, I would :P ... this is so random haha
JookBoy (link) - 29 April '04 - 12:38

Hahahaha Jookboy - u're so cheap! Maybe you find that 12% cause all it takes if someone to go - "u want me?" and you're in for it! (as proven with that random call with Janey - though that's prob not the only example :) Always in, go it son!

Maybe the rest of us are too stiff ... I mean rigid ... I mean errr ... non friendly enough to accept or offer these random "I would like to get to know u better" call ...
Cheap Calls - 01 May '04 - 16:35

haha, dodgy bastard :)

So if someone says "I would like to get to know you better", you would be immediately suspicious? Why?
Do you think that you may not be good enough to get to know them?
Why not accept that friendly gesture?
What is the issue?
JookBoy (link) - 02 May '04 - 04:57

I do have many really good friends, and i make friends these days out of convenience. By that i mean, if i bump into the same people frequently, but not intending to, i take the chance to get to know them on those occasions.

Much like urself, Bill or Li-Shuai...i think you guys would be cool friends(Bill is currently on the borderline, cos he cant be swayed by a girl with tears in her eyes! Very cold Bill...very cold! *LoL*)...

But point is, i'm not going out of my way to get to know you guys all that much...its more like ive bumped into you guys through other friends when we are out and about and its silly not to speak to you guys cos you're there and are friends with my friends!
petals - 02 May '04 - 07:28

hrmm... but I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't feel the 'click' at all.
Janey - 02 May '04 - 14:06

haha, impressive that you realised we have no "click" after two sentences :)
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 05:23

Janey, if you bring the jelly, I'll bring the wading pool, the cream and the gerbil.

Baby, I'm feeling the click already!
Horn_dog - 04 May '04 - 10:42

To answer your comment, petals, friendships will occur either by effort or time...I concur that you will become friends if you see the other person frequently enough.
What I meant in my previous comments was if you did not have that time factor, would you make the effort to establish a friendship?
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 10:48

No, I wouldnt...thats what i meant by now, these days, I make friends out of convenience. If the time factor wasnt part of the equation I, personally, wouldnt make the effort...not today anyways! ;)
petals - 04 May '04 - 04:56

Ooooh yeah! Sorry JookBoy, but it seems like I've found someone else that can click with me. :P By the way Horn_dog, I like gerbils, but do you like strap-ons? Because I find a good marital aid is fundamental for a relationship to work.
Janey - 04 May '04 - 10:26

http://www.whooshka.net has now officially become a dating service!
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 17:40

jookboy - u might have to put one of those - "Only ppl over 18 yrs are allowed into this website" disclaimers! xxx'ing it up :)

for me, it's rare to meet someone who i would seek to spend more time with getting to know them ... i would more likely get to know them if I saw them regularly. It is most definitely different for a single guy ... I think u should be out and about getting to know many girls (law of averages)

i spose the main difference is wether u go after it (make a move) or you want things to just happen for you ...
Dessy - 05 May '04 - 06:32

A couple of my friends who have seen you around Kev would like to get to know you better. Hee!
riss (email) (link) - 10 May '04 - 17:37

hehe...w00t :)
JookBoy (link) - 10 May '04 - 18:29

Making further effort to get to know someone is probably a bit too unnatural off the bat. I mean, we all have our sorta "core" group of friends, that probably fulfull 90% of your friendship needs. Finding out whether you "click" with someone I dont think is the right term.

Developing a friendship is not just down to instant "clickage". There are other factors, which are as equally as important. Timing is a big one, hobbies, more chance meetings. Getting to know someone I dont think can't be forced, and you'll know someone better naturally if you see them maybe 10 times out.. just somewhere, and then if you pass this stage then perhaps it can develop into something more permanent.

Take us at uni for eg. It wasn't that all the BIT's in particular clicked instantly. It was the sharing of common experiences, and time day in day out that made it what it was.

btw, if there are any fine ladies around that are lonely, pass em up :P

My 0.02c :)
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 18:00

The Email Spiral

A friend warned me of a phenomenon in email that I feel myself being drawn towards.

It's called the "email spiral" (or something like that), and work basically like this:
Someone that you know keeps in contact with you via email, and only email (or more generally, the Internet).

What happens is that, naturally, people will put their best foot forward, and present themselves in the best possible light. Now there is nothing wrong with presenting yourself in a positive image. However, the difference between real-time interaction and this kind of contact is that both parties have the ability to edit what they say, and how that say it (much like that "Seven Days" video by Craig David), whereas in a face-to-face situation, they don't have that luxury.

What follows is that the emails get longer, the correspondence more meaningful, and you find yourself falling for your perception of someone as they would want to see themselves, rather than who they really are. Coupled with the fact that you are interpreting their emails the way you want to (who here can tell when someone is being sarcastic in other people's emails unless there is that "" tag, or random ":P" and ":)"??) leads to a dangerous gap between the reality of that person and your perception of them.

Inevitably, the meeting will occur, and this is where sadly hopes are dashed, and that Prince Charming or Independent, Funny, Cutey guy/girl fantasy is blown away.

I'm not saying that there is a solution to this problem, and I for one am deeply engaged in this activity as I write this post. However, it's good to be aware, and once in a while, give them a call, and see if that "internet spark" exists in real-time :)

Damn! fourteen cheap calls already:

sometimes its just best to let the fantasy be...
ding! - 02 April '04 - 18:43

I agree. Don't let it go too far before phonecall and/or meeting.
xtn (link) - 04 April '04 - 08:03

gone through the email thing...and its fun for the sake of fun, but i prefer meeting a person face to face...and i dislike generating expectations for myself, where it turns out to be inextricably too high for the person to reach...which is my own fault!
petals - 04 April '04 - 11:17

So what do you do if the person is overseas? More international phone calls?
And petals, are you referring to you hyping yourself up too much, or them hyping themselves up too much, to be reachable?
JookBoy (link) - 04 April '04 - 19:48

I hype the situation too much...i set expectations that the other person will never meet. So, its my fault not theirs that they turn out to be just themselves.

I, personally, wouldnt even pursue a person that was across the water...altho ino of girls who married guys they met while on holiday in another country. The girls stayed in that country instead...so they didnt have to make too many international calls. hehehe...and now they are married and have beautiful half-cast babies... ^_^
petals - 05 April '04 - 08:57

shoot...that still didnt answer ur question! ahahahhaa...what i mean is...i set these expectations of the guys...for example...from emails...i interpret what they write to be what i want it to be...i envision him to be something close to my "ideal" guy...which the likelihood of him turning out to be Mr Right is very slim...

id be picturing a very articulate passionate guy...and yet he could just be a well thought out person who sat at the computer for hours trying to decide on what to write to me!

hopefully that clears things up...
=)
petals - 05 April '04 - 09:14

is it worth going to such lengths for an international relationship?
ding! - 05 April '04 - 13:12

How well did u know the person before all the emails?
And who warned u about this phenomenon?
pskis - 05 April '04 - 16:32

haha, always for that Eurasian look :) That staying overseas seems like a mighty step to take...
Yes, everyone can be that "passionate articulate guy" on email...it's strange (from my experience, anyway) that people can become so attractive so fast!

Pskis, the assumption is that you don't know the person that well prior to email contact...otherwise, in most cases, you would have already have quality time face-to-face. And a friend warned me :P
JookBoy (link) - 05 April '04 - 18:26

And ding! The romantic answer is "of course!"
JookBoy (link) - 05 April '04 - 18:27

Oh bother,
The story of my life!! HAhahah I'm a sucker for words, over numbers, unencumbered numbered worrrrds...

I should really listen to the caring words of xtn and "GET OFF THE INTERNET, MEY!" ^_^
Mey - 06 April '04 - 11:05

*LoL* yeah mey, 'u and i both' should listen to him - and get off the net! *^_^*
petals - 07 April '04 - 04:18

I think it also depends on how perceptive you are, whether or not you can tell if what they're saying is just a load of faff or if they're really being sincere. I think after a couple of emails or chats online you can deduce certain things about them by the way they write, not necessarily by what they say but by the way they say it (does that make sense?)
riss (link) - 07 April '04 - 06:18

And that is the main issue with emails, right riss? That by only reading words, you are unable to get the inflection that comes with thsoe statements, and hence the ability to tell whether that person is sincere or not is made even harder. Coupled with the fact that they can edit what they write, and anything can happen...

And no, stay on the internet! Otherwise no one will comment :)
JookBoy (link) - 07 April '04 - 06:38

My Cousin's Advice

Excerpts from a following conversation during dinner:

Cousin: So have you given her the signals?
Kev: Yeah, I have, you know, calling her, inviting her out to places.
Cousin: Mate, that's really nothing! You need to be consistent and concerted in your approach. You have to do things for her that are above and beyond what a normal friend would do.
Kev: But the signs aren't there.
Cousin: She's a friend! Why would she give signs to you if (as I see it) you're not giving that clear a sign to her?
Kev: hmmm......

And so on it went. So with this random egging on from my relatives, it's time to step up the fun and festivities.

Kev: So you wanna come round for dinner? I'll cook for you.
Girl: Sounds good!

Now I just have to find that Jamie Oliver cookbook :)

Damn! fifteen cheap calls already:

May I suggest a quality desert wine to help lighten the mood after dinner as well as providing a smooth transition to whatever post-dinner activities that you may have...

Plan, plan, plan.

Oh, and have fun. :)
bOGi - 29 November '03 - 12:18

I was thinking of some daiquiris...it's got taht summer thing to it.
JookBoy - 29 November '03 - 15:45

I suggest you try position 44. It worked for you last time. :)
Dre - 29 November '03 - 17:38

I'm a fan of strong opening gambits. But you might want to defer your endgame and sacrifice your bishop or it just might be a stalemate.
-Stephen- - 30 November '03 - 09:10

So it be awwwwn!!! (hopefully!)

I agree with your cousin. You've got to make sure that she knows how you feel. And some girls still like the guy to make the first move.

I'd suggest to fully know beforehand what you want to tell her. And don't plan plan plan plan plan plan (sorry bogi, gotta disagree with you a little there). just plan the basics (what you want to say, what you need to cook, what you need to drink - kev, u stick with water ok!) and leave the rest to fate. that way you won't have to stress about follow a plan for the whole night. you can just relax and be yourself.

and yes have fun!!! damn it, ok plan to have fun!!!
Anton - 30 November '03 - 20:59

You know what dude, just cook something nice. Other than that, just be yourself, don't hold back (in being yourself. You should probably try to hold back your sexual urges until after your main, but not necessarily before your dessert.) Things will flow their natural course from there. I mean it's not like you two are strangers right? You will somehow find a common field to play (ie flirt) on.

And if you get nervous (which I doubt) just keep saying to yourself 'WHO GOT GAME?!!! I got GAME!!' and you'll be right.
Dre - 01 December '03 - 14:44

I'm getting tips all round!
Thanks for the advice, all, let's hope it all goes well :)
I probly agree with you, Anton, as long as the food is all worked out, everything else will take its own haphazard course.

I've got a recipe for Impossible Pie from my aunty hehe
JookBoy - 01 December '03 - 15:29

wow ... I'm feelin all nervous just reading this page ... and I aint even going to be there!!! :)

What are you doing to yourself Kev!!! :p

btw ... don't forget to plan what you're going to do with Waz for the night :) hehehe
scraps (email) - 02 December '03 - 06:19

It's all about thriving under pressure...but I'm beginning to doubt that :P

Don't worry, Waz will take care of himself!
JookBoy (email) - 02 December '03 - 15:48

Will he be working the video camera?
Dre - 02 December '03 - 19:26

Oh, that's so cheap.....quality :)
JookBoy - 02 December '03 - 20:06

Damn, Wazz is workin the vid cam? Shit. Now I have nothing to do!

Go with the flow bro. If in doubt, there is always Le Ranch 'O Love
PeeDz - 02 December '03 - 22:20

Girl: Why are we going to Macquarie?
Kev: Oh, I'm going for a massage
:)
JookBoy - 03 December '03 - 21:15

What u cooking kev? something spicy?? (ooh it's getting hot in here...)
I'm sure she'll luv whatever u make. Always difficult for a gal to resist a guy that cooks for her.
pskis - 03 December '03 - 22:23

Umm, cocktails, some sort of grilled fish, with salad, and a dessert.
Dessert has already gone slightly askew in trial runs :P

Thanks for the optimism :)
JookBoy (email) - 04 December '03 - 15:33