Actions Or Words?

What do you believe in? What someone says or what they do?

I was listening to the radio this morning, and they had people people ringing in with regards to who had the most boring relationship. A girl rang up to say that she and her boyfriend had been going out for 17 months, and he had never gone outside of his place with him (obviously they must have been doing things at home which was entertaining enough! But I digress...)

The point is that there are people who are complaining how bad it is, and yet they are still plugging away at the relationship. Yes, I can understand the odd complaint here and there about how their partner doesn't do exactly what they want, but for 17 months??

Anyways, a friend directed me to a quality site for guys. The real interesting part (of course) is the dating section. The whole basis of the advice is to retain an air of "mystery" about you, to keep the girl's interest levels high by being a "Challenge" and all sorts of fun stuff. The main point though is this. That when girls give those excuses that we have all heard, that's what they are, excuses. Never rationalise a girl's behaviour. And the other point is that girls will not let a small setback throw them off if they are actually interested in you.

So then if actions mean a lot more than words, where does that leave the grinding part? Is that just a random event? I've come to the conclusion that grinding opens the door, but doesn't let you in. It's short term fun, with no long term promise. Curse that social lubricant they call alcohol! :)

And thanks to everyone that turned up to the party on Saturday night. I had an awesome time!

Damn! 19 cheap calls already:

So...what you're trying to say is that you got your grind awwn, but are just leaving it at that?

Why not follow up the action with a word?
ricegrains (link) - 24 July '04 - 19:45

... or more action?
xtn (link) - 25 July '04 - 06:19

why do you want to curse the social lubricant called alcohol? Do girls grind against you at any time other than when alcohol is involved? If so, then damn you got game :)

Perhaps grinding isn't the 'gateway' to that which you seek?
taipan - 25 July '04 - 07:59

I dont quite understand why people stay in relationships that they are not happy with and yet complain...change the direction in which it is heading (or lack there of).

About the air of Mystery, to remain a Challenge...thats the same advice women are given about men. BUT, the point about girls and setbacks:

"...girls will not let a small setback throw them off if they are actually interested in you."

I dont think that is entirely true...because even if she is honestly interested and there is an obstacle (more like a couple small setbacks)...most likely...she will move right along and give up. We do get thrown off the track, as much as boys do.
petals - 25 July '04 - 10:09

I'm not saying that there's no follow-up...I'm just saying that you shouldn't over-commit. It's all about self control.

It depends on the level of alcohol when the said grinding occurs, and that's hard to judge :)
Yes, maybe it isn't the gateway, which is why it's just short term fun.

Then, petals, the thought follows that she wasn't genuinely interested. Persistence wins in the end, I am sure. It's a matter of testing their resolve :)

Actually, I've reread this entry. It doesn't make that much sense!
JookBoy (link) - 25 July '04 - 13:49

to keep the girl's interest levels high by being a "Challenge" and all sorts of fun stuff

If you are too challenging I think a girl would just give up, she's going to wonder why she's wasting her time on someone who isn't entirely responsive when she could be seeing someone else. There's only so many games a person can take :)
riss (email) (link) - 25 July '04 - 14:11

i agree with riss. its the same with you boys. if the gal plays too hard to get too much, u get bored and give up. its a bit of both. and for that comment about complaining about relationships, i think most ppl complain a litttle about things in relationships. However you sometimes/rarely hear about all the good stuff of that relationship. Very few relationships dont have little issues, if they didnt, it mite get boring if anything. Big issues, thats a whole different blog for you.
addy - 25 July '04 - 15:06

oh yeh, grinding....
i think grinding means more to guys than gals. it opens a little door....cos if she wasnt interested in you AT ALL, she would run....
addy - 25 July '04 - 15:09

If she wasnt interested in your AT ALL, she hasn't had enough drinks :D

And whats so strange about staying in a bad rship. Remember, not all people have had the cosy upbringings most of us have had. For some ppl, its their only avenue for at least some sort of intimacy and companionship, its so easy to blind yourself to the negatives.

For some, bad is better than alone.
Peedz - 25 July '04 - 15:48

you're right, the entry didn't make much sense (hehe)

actions will always speak louder than words

and thanks for an awesome night on saturday. haven't had one of those in years!
al (email) - 26 July '04 - 12:15

i dont disagree about persistance, i wrote a blog about persistance paying off! altho, the amount of time you would spend being persistant each different person will vary, right? if it was a shorter span of time, it doesnt mean u werent genuinely interested...it just means u woke up earlier and realised that maybe that person isnt right for you if they arent showing an interest back and/or they keep playing games with you? which riss' point comes in...there are only so many games a person can take, girl or boy.
petals - 27 July '04 - 09:46

"altho, the amount of time you would spend being persistant each different person will vary, right?"

Yes, exactly. So the point is to separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were.

And what they are saying is that what chicks define as "right" is most likely someone whom they see as a challenge.

If you know they're playing games you quit, but obviously being a challenge is a little bit different.
JookBoy (email) (link) - 28 July '04 - 14:37

the type of girl that we want to be attracted to us is probably in high demand from plenty of others. make it too much of a challenge for them, and they'll just go movin' onto the next hot stud!
al - 29 July '04 - 00:34

Al, are those the chicks that will just thumb you through and through? :)
JookBoy (link) - 06 August '04 - 07:05

I think the best way to remain a 'challenge' to girls is just to have heaps of girlfriends. That way you are a challenge naturally. You don't have to pretend to be busy on Fri and Sat nights, and so organise a breakfast date for Wednesday morning coz that's the only time you can fit it in.

Being desirable to women is a lifestyle, not a couple of things you can memorise from a men's help webpage.

RC
randomcow - 08 August '04 - 11:00

Can I clarfy that as actual girlfriends, or just friends that are chicks? Cause I'm sure my buds would call me a "ho" (some already do!)
JookBoy (link) - 08 August '04 - 18:52

You know, we can refer to them as whatever we want. Guys don't really care about labels - the chicks can keep track of where the relationship is at any point in time. Chicks care about this kind of stuff.

But to help define it, "Females you are already shagging, or are working on." How's that?

And yes, you're a ho.

RC
randomcow - 09 August '04 - 04:26

Thanks :)

I think I would hit a moral issue with shagging becoming a plural. Maybe that's why I don't have that challenge about me.
JookBoy (link) - 10 August '04 - 06:51

maybe.

:)
randomcow - 10 August '04 - 07:05

Why MBA? Which MBA?

Lately I've been considering the next step in my education, namely a masters somewhere around the world. With the wonders of technology around us, there are tons of blogs that discuss the "MBA experience". However, before reading these blogs, this one poses some questions that should be thought of, in terms of "Why MBA?" in the first place. I think that my answer is a combination of career change and learning about business.

Career change: given the very flat heirarchy of Lend Lease IT, the chances of promotion I feel are quite low. Especially since all the managers are roughly in their early fourties, they will be around for quite a bit of time. Hence a move away from this area (whilst very sad) seems somewhat inevitable if I am to progress in the career. And to move away requires some knowledge.
One of the managers put it this way. If I was offered a more senior role, running an area in a totally different business unit, would I be able to take it on? MBAs change your mindset, I think, and allow you to take that leap of faith (in yourself, in a sense) to go into a bigger role without feeling that you've been totally thrown into the deep end. Consultants seem to have this skill, and it's something I would like acquire.

Learning about business: after our foray into the internet gaming arena, which didn't go that well at all, there is still a desire to get into another business. However, that desire has waned over the last year or so, and one of the reasons has been the realisation that I have a real lack of knowledge in business. One of the focusses of business schools is their knowledge in entrepreneurship, and that would be a solid foundation to start from to build a more successful business.

As to the question of "Which MBA?", I am more inlcined to go to a European business school, as I feel their outlook is more international, compared to the US business schools, which are a lot more internally focussed. Places such as INSEAD, IE, London Business School, IMD (although that is catered more for people older than myself) woudl be great schools to attend. Yes, the cost is quite prohibitive, but you hope that the payback is worth it.

The same manager (as above) warned me though:

Manager: "Kev, it might not be a good idea to study in Europe, too many distractions"
Kev: "Oh, you mean like all the travelling and things like that?"
Manager: "No no, there are too many pretty European girls, you won't be able to study!"

Damn! three cheap calls already:

i vote london business school - keep us company!!! :)
mushiejc (link) - 18 July '04 - 14:25

Have been playing with this idea too lately, tho i swore that i'd never go back to school. Film snob is interesting tho, good to find out what it's like "from the inside."
pskis - 18 July '04 - 15:30

Another good site to check out is http://www.worldmbawire.blogspot.com/

Haha, Jen, you can come visit me! The more outposts we have the better :)
JookBoy (email) (link) - 19 July '04 - 10:22

The Lottery - Saturday 24 July

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A Glass And A Half For Some

I think I'm watching too many TV shows. It could just be because I have no one to talk to during my dinner time!

Anyways, there was a great documentary about excessive drinking, and the effects it has on your body. The program followed some guys out on the town, and in between the scientific stuff, had some random interviews with the guys, and their friends. Fun stuff.

So here are some of the facts that I gleaned from it:

1. Alcohol immediately affects the brain from the get go, increasing the pleasure and relaxant hormones, which is usually why the first drink is the best.
2. Women get more drunk not due to their size but by the relative amount of fat in their bodies, as fat does not contain water, and water dissapates the effects.
3. After two drinks, members of the opposite sex appear 25% more sexier.
4. Tetosterone levels actually decrease slightly with more alcohol. Oestrogren levels for women, on the other hand, increases a massive 400%, which is why you see all that booty shaking action on the dance floor. Why are men horny, then? Well, they are always horny, it's usually bottled up in self-control. That self-control is what is removed with alcohol (also induced by the said booty shaking that's happening in front of them)
5. Alcohol is a diuretic, and hence on a big drinking night, you pee more fluids out than drink in. Since the brain contains tons of water, water is reduced in this area as well, and the brain actually shrinks, causing that hammering feeling in your skull the next day.
6. Even when you have 0.00 alcohol levels the next day, your brain still can't function properly, leading to bad judgement ie the person sleeping next to you.
7. Testosterone levels will decrease with each drinking session. Over the long term, this is what leads to a shrinkage in testicles, reduced sperm cournt, and most badly of all, the dreaded man-boobs :)

And here ends today's lesson. Tune in next time when we discuss the effects of fast food. Alternatively, just watch Supersize Me!

Damn! ten cheap calls already:

well then.... i'll see you at the roof bar :p
ue - 30 June '04 - 18:51

So why does my voice go up to octaves when i get tipsy?
Lil - 01 July '04 - 06:54

It's the oestrogen talking
JookBoy (email) (link) - 01 July '04 - 07:06

Lil, i think its cos u go hypo too...when u go hypo on coffee...when E is trying to get u to do something ridiculous in public...when were pissing in our pants over another "incident" - you start squeaking!

=P
petals - 01 July '04 - 09:14

I'd always heard that with drinking - "the desire increases, but the performance decreases" ... now I know why! Well from now on - less drinks for me, more for the chicks :) more boo-tay shakin i say!
Dessy - 12 July '04 - 11:57

How can they say anything bad about the ultimate social lubricant?! How RUDE! Thou shalt not defame the drink!!
Peedz - 20 July '04 - 14:44

Perhaps you need to drink something harder than Malibu KC...the opposite sex becomes more attractive quicker no? :)

"After two drinks people of the opposite sex appear 25% more attractive" Hmm...does this work exponentially, or are we talking straight line correlation here?

Perhaps we should test this theory on you at our next night out!
ricegrains (link) - 12 August '04 - 07:48

Confirmed at Gold Coast. Everyone's hotter after 2 drinks!
JookBoy (link) - 21 August '04 - 16:21

That's right; and we have the evidence to prove it! w00t~
ricegrains (link) - 23 August '04 - 12:58

Why Is There Suffering?

I went to an Christian discussion session, talking about the reason that there is suffering in the world. The simply answer, from a Christian point of view, is that we are not in Heaven, and hence there is suffering. Whilst this argument makes sense, if you believe in Heaven, it doesn't help much if you don't. I think a lot of suffering occurs due to human selfishness, and the inability of people to recognise that it can be a win-win situation, rather than always win-lose, as we are taught from childhood.

The other question, which I thought was more interesting, was "what would be the worst things that could happen to you?"

A list that I thought of would be something like the following:
a) Loss of a loved one
b) Loss of freedom
c) Loss of hope
d) Some form of abuse, whether it be mental or physical
e) Loss of trust

Thinking about it further, I'm lucky to have not experienced any of the above to a great extent. And, as someone suggested to me that night, not having your mettle tested could mean that you do not feel that there is a need to rely of other people, or God, for that matter. I am of the firm belief that you are able to change the situation around you by the way you approach the situation (Yui, that "Fish" book was cool! I'll return it soon). Could this belief only work in events that are of less significance?

On another note, a friend of my brother-in-law was also in attendance. He had a good theory about why people have problems becoming Christian. Essentially, we all have a system of values and experiences (your character, as it were) that we put our faith in. We use this system to produce a certain set of results that we are happy with. The problem is that we need to put this system away, and take on a whole new system of values (as described in the Bible) to live our lives. And that's where it's tough, because no one wants to use an untested system, one that they have not had any experience in.

It's this leap of faith that takes the longest time, and one that, at this point in time, I am unable or unwilling to make.

Damn! fourteen cheap calls already:

I must say, I generally live by the motto "God helps those who help themselves" :) However, the thought that if you believe in him, God will protect you in life and death against any evil is quite a nice one too (Romans 8). But like you said, until you can take that leap of faith, it's just a nice thought, and not a belief I could live by either.
milli - 27 June '04 - 07:26

is it that you have have a different system of values - as in what u think is good and bad is prob gonna be similar to Christians?? - but maybe it'd be your motivation for doing things that would be different if you were Christian??
mushiejc (link) - 27 June '04 - 15:23

If God created the world, then by definition he created suffering (unless you subscribe to the argument that Satan had something to do with this, in which case, God is not omnipotent or all-powerful).

If that's the case, then God is one vengeful, sadistic bastard. Having said that, I now face the prospect of going to hell.

At least I'll get to meet Ghandi there.
-Stephen- (email) (link) - 27 June '04 - 19:19

-lol- just found this quote on bash, thought it was appropriate for topic of conversation:

Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand.
reenie (email) - 28 June '04 - 08:19

Yes, mushiejc, as I was told the other night, if you were Christian everything is done for the glory of God, rather than yourself.

Stepehen, I think the answer to that would be Man chose to make the world NOT heaven, and that is why there is suffering.
JookBoy (email) (link) - 28 June '04 - 13:22

i think putting faith in any system of values rather than my own is in effect saying that i don't believe in myself and i don't believe in my power to make judgements for myself, which scares me.

having said that, IMHO western society is fairly "Christian" anyway (follow Christian holidays, laws based around Christian ideals, large surrounding population of Christians, open advertising by Christians, ...) so our values have already shaped themself to be fairly close to Christian ones (with completely different motivation for doing things I admit)
al - 29 June '04 - 21:54

You're right al, we live by the Christian moral values. And truth be told, I think those values are great. Do they compare quite differently to the values you see in China?
JookBoy (link) - 30 June '04 - 17:25

"Do they compare quite differently to the values you see in China? "

Motto: If you can sell it for $2. I can sell it for $1.50
Peedz - 03 July '04 - 20:46

Normally very different... but I noticed apparently Chinese law does legalise one thing that many of us are doing "not so legally" in Australia : apparently it is OK to copy software for "testing" purposes here...
al - 04 July '04 - 21:50

Hi Kev.. just came across your blog through a friend. Haven't been keeping up with my blog rolling and must've missed yours! :) And yes you do know me, but I haven't seen you in a while.

Anyway, interesting post. I liked the way the friend of your brother-in-law put it, the theory on why people have a problem accepting christianity. I'm interested to know which place/church/organisation you went to for this Christian discussion session.

But yeh, keeping in line with what your friend said, I reckon it basically comes to this with most people: You want to be in control of your own life, make your own decisions and live whichever way you please.. rather than submit to someone else's (ie God's) authority over your life. I guess, I believe thats the heart of the problem (what the bible defines as sin), and contributes to a lot of the reason why there is suffering in the world.

Anyways, yeh, I think its cool you're willing to think about things like this, and even attend discussion sessions to investigate this stuff.
Kazzart (link) - 08 July '04 - 11:53

Hi Kazzart,

I went to my sister's church, I think it's called CPC, the one on Crown St in Surry Hills.
She's been going there since I was about 13.
The speaker for the night was a great guy, James Fong. Worth going just for his presentation!
JookBoy (link) - 10 July '04 - 15:13

Ahh yep, I know ppl from there.. think I've been there before too. And James Fong is an awesome speaker! I've heard him speak a few times before.. such a crack up! Heheh. Did he tell his "most embarrassing moment" story? Man.. so funny.
Kazzart (link) - 11 July '04 - 07:27

hehe i think i heard that bloke speak too ... he was great! was wondering - if ur values systems are all pretty similar to Chrisitian morals, than what would the so called "leap of faith" involve?
Dessy - 12 July '04 - 11:11

So what you're trying to say is that you're a Quasi-Christian Kev? :)

To quote Shakespeare: "A rose by any other name doth smell as sweet"

Couldn't the same be said about people living with Christian virtues and morals but not being Christian?

It's like people who live in de facto relationships but who choose not to get married. Some people just want to do it their way.
ricegrains (link) - 12 August '04 - 07:43

The New Bloke

Reading the newspaper as I was relaxing down in Jervis Bay (thanks Milli and Matt for organising!), I saw that another guy persona was identified. An excerpt:

The New Bloke is no wimp but he is no male chauvinist either, though he gets a laugh out of pretending to be: mock chauvinism is one of his party tricks and he enjoys satirising his unenlightened comrades.

He's typically in his twenties, relaxed and confident about his masculinity, attractively blokey in style. To borrow the key word from the women's movement, the New Bloke is liberated. Try to get him talking about politics and he'll steer the conversation to girls, jobs, girls, sport, girls, the internet, girls, movies and drugs (of the legal and illegal variety).

He is as interested in having a good time as any bloke ever was, but the big difference is that he knows women are equal. He accepts that a serious relationship with a woman involves taking her identity and her needs seriously, and that the woman's agenda is just as important as the man's. (Some of his best mates are women, by the way.)

The New Bloke despises "old" blokes who pretend to be in love so they can get a woman to sleep with them. The New Bloke is explicit about the difference between uncommitted and committed sex, and he knows plenty of girls who are equally clear about that distinction.

Often posing as a traditional larrikin, he wouldn't want you to know he's reshaping the world, but that's his agenda: he wants us all to have more fun, to lighten up, to accept that the pathway to good relationships between the sexes lies in an acceptance of genuine equality. Any other way of operating strikes him as being unfair, unsustainable and just plain silly.

And for once, I would like to be that type of guy! And upon further thought, I would say that most of my friends fall under this category as well.

Which makes me wonder, why do we have these attitudes? Why is there such a difference from the perceived notion of Asian guys having no respect for their partners, and us? I guess it's because we have been raised in a Western society that allows us to see this "equal opportunity" at a much more developed level than if we had not emigrated from our homelands. And for that, I'm very glad to be living in Australia.

On another note, is that why most girls I know think of Asian guys that are still living in their own countries as "ugly"?
Seriously, there cannot be that much of a difference in the way people look if you're both from the same ethnic background, can it? Hence, could it be not of the looks but rather on their outlook on women?

Of course, this can be taken to the other extreme, where a man has too much respect for his partner, and ends up having no equality of his own. Which reminds me, Bill, can I get one of those Chop Design shirts done with a big thumb crossed out within a red circle, and the words "No Thumb!"? :P

Quote for the holiday:
Kev: Helen, why are you sucking that pickled gerkin?
Helen: Cause I like to suck....oh dear

Damn! sixteen cheap calls already:

I'll start working on some designs :)
What about one for Helen with the phrase "I like to suck..." and a picture of a pickled gerkin?
ding! (link) - 14 June '04 - 10:34

this ought to get her commenting.
ue - 14 June '04 - 12:24

Nah, she'll blatantly ignore all these cheap calls :)
JookBoy (email) (link) - 14 June '04 - 14:03

Hmmm IMHO sophistication is the difference between overseas chinese and chinese still living in their homeland.

Cheap tacky clothing, people standing waaaay too close when talking, lack of consideration for others, unwillingness to splurge on lifestyle... it ain't the same in Shanghai :(

As for outlook on women; well, in Shanghai, women are (big generalisation) typically more ferocious... so men actually have to give way to them a lot. i'm not sure if outlook on women is what is unattractive about asian guys living here. i think its more of a general outlook on life :p
al - 14 June '04 - 23:43

Ferocious eh Al? You love it mate :)
Peedz - 15 June '04 - 13:56

5 guesses to what 'S' in helens middle name might be?
the vault - 16 June '04 - 09:38

Ooh...good call from the Vault; you couldn't resist posting it could you Kev? Oh well, if you weren't going to, someone else would have :)

And ferocious women? You would know something about that wouldn't you KC?

I'm not sure if the word is sophistication though Al..can't put my finger on it, but I'm thinking of another word...can I get an ABC up in here? :)
ricegrains (link) - 17 June '04 - 10:24

I'm down for ferocious women...Mary-Ann always tells me to go after hard chicks :)
JookBoy (link) - 18 June '04 - 09:10

hard chicks maybe but not ferocious - they end up growing into those scary old asian dragon ladies!!
mushiejc (link) - 20 June '04 - 16:32

good point, i wonder what cutesy girls grow up to be like though? will they always remain cutesy?

bogi: i think i worked it out. could it be bad teeth?

peedz: give it to me baby ... armpit hair included
al - 20 June '04 - 21:12

Too much cutey when you're older I don't think works very well. You gets no respect!

So al, it's probably a good business opportunity to start up a dental surgery in China? Or do people just not care?
JookBoy (email) (link) - 21 June '04 - 12:02

I read somewhere that Japan has the highest rate of malocclusion in the world. An orthodontist prob won't get much business there. Coz apparently the snaggle tooth look is cute. Ugh.

Don't know about China though.
milli - 22 June '04 - 06:35

My girlfriend tells me Japanese have smaller jaws, but still generally have to fit the same amount of teeth as other people (28)

China ... maybe it's more about discoloured teeth than misplaced ones?

I think you could make a lot of money as a dentist for foreigners here though. I paid 3900RMB to have two wisdom teeth extracted last year ... whereas my local friend paid 90RMB, no kidding!
al - 22 June '04 - 21:39

al - was that cause you got anaesthetic and proper dental equipment, whereas your friend got thread wrapped around the wisdom tooth at one end and a door knob at the other?
reenie - 23 June '04 - 09:37

interesting article, dude. Though I reckon it's just a new fad/label, same as the metro or the SNAG.

Best bet is to go for macho. It just keeps coming back.

RC
randomcow - 09 August '04 - 05:15

No fear? It's too much of a lie!
I'm not down for any type of scary movies :)
JookBoy (link) - 10 August '04 - 06:57

I Saw Four Girls Kissing Each Other

Melbournians seem to party harder than Sydney-siders! Everyone that I encountered at this club was (or was acting) substantially more drunk than people back home...or maybe it was just the people I met? :)

Anyways, getting back to the title of this post (it wasn't just for getting the hits on the website up, I swear!) I have to admit that I didn't particularly enjoy the spectacle of it, and since most people (guys, especially) would look at me in shock, let me try to explain it...more so for my own benefit.

So it goes something like this.

In most of these situations of girls pashing other girls, they are at a level of intoxication that is close to intolerable (unless, of course, you are that way inclined, in which case this does not apply). It's very hard at that point in time to have a decent conversation with that girl. Hence there is nothing that I can find from their personality that makes me like them. Hence I didn't particularly enjoy the spectacle.

Did that make sense?

However, I did towards the end of the night meet a chick that I could talk to properly, and she was, in my eyes, much cooler than the rest. And no, nothing happened, for those cheap call makers out there!

I think the promise of drunk booty has never been high on my list of ways to hook up, and have reached an age where a good conversation is a million times better than grinding from some random inebriated chick. Of coure, grinding from a chick I just had a good conversation with is probably a million times better than just a conversation! haha

For those who are coming down to Melbourne some-time soon, and would like to go to some quality R'n'B clubs, Amber Lounge was pretty good on Friday nights. Evolution is also on Friday nights, but it seems to have more of that attitude. I think Amber Lounge had a more friendly atmosphere. Of course, Next Blue is on Saturday nights, which I went to in October...won't be there tonight, since I'll be back home.

A big thanks to James for taking me out and letting me crash at his pad. You da man mate!

I've always wondered if I'd have the courage when a chick says to me "want to see two girls kiss" to ask if I can get involved...the answer it seems, is I'm still waiting for that courage :)

Damn! six cheap calls already:

i've seen 6 girls pashing. and they were my friends. ah, memories of drunken high school parties.
riss (email) (link) - 29 May '04 - 17:56

I've just worked out, the event always sounds better when you hear about it second-hand!

It's a fantasy thing, I suppose...sadly reality never lives up to the dream :)
JookBoy (link) - 29 May '04 - 20:35

good conversations _really_ _are_ hard to come by these days, the thing is there are always reservations from one or both parties just because one or both think the other party has a hidden agenda, which is kinda blah...

maybe i should've posted this on that 'nice guy' entry by dolla bill.

whatever.
ue - 30 May '04 - 05:44

Keeeeeeeeeeeeev, maate your problem is that to get onto drunk chicks, you have to be maggared yourself, then it makes more sense :)

re: ppl partying harder down there, its just the company you keep in Syd :P

Also, I dunno bout you, but I dont know about going into a niteclub if you want good conversation, its like looking for peace in Iraq :P
Peedz - 01 June '04 - 19:44

ah yes, once again trusty peedz is spot on the mark
kev i have to say your comment went pear shaped as soon as you said "let me explain"...
see y'all on fri 25th
bjee - 07 June '04 - 18:45

I Wish I Could Take Photos Like These

Only 40,000 Qantas Frequent Flyer points to get to Hong Kong!

In the meantime, enjoy these quality photos...

Damn! four cheap calls already:

The first time i went to HK...the plane landed at like 10pm HK time...and it was during the Christmas season...the city really lights up beautifully, i really enjoyed that first trip...(this was before the airport became an island out in the water).

Pity, i was only 11 y/o and i didnt appreciate it as much then, as i do now.
petals - 23 May '04 - 07:53

quality shots those. but forgot the main tourist attraction... ezzzz
use your 40k and i'll see you there for a wkend!
god bless carnegies wednesday ngihts and bar none S&M parties.
bjee (email) - 26 May '04 - 11:23

hehe...it just doesn't seem worthwhile :)
Tell Burt to get back to me about that job!
JookBoy (link) - 29 May '04 - 16:31

i will when i see him. think he's gone to japan or thailand or somewhere for work
besides i've hardly been around lately anyway
bjee - 07 June '04 - 18:42

Newsflash!! Evil Twins Spotted!

Oh dear...

Thanks for letting us crash your place again Helen! Happy Birthday mate.

Damn! twelve cheap calls already:

nasty
ue - 16 May '04 - 19:08

tasty!
ding! - 17 May '04 - 06:24

gawd diggidy!! haha. Dude, you should have fused the left part of xtns, and right part of yours together..
oh oh oh! :)
Mey - 18 May '04 - 06:54

Yes... well... we all have to entertain ourselves somehow
xtn (link) - 19 May '04 - 06:00

That is nasty. Very. Hurts me in fact. The thought of three kevs running around... *shudder*
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 18:03

Just like to add that it was taken with one camera....there has been no Photoshop action involved. Love the Casio digital!
JookBoy (link) - 20 May '04 - 11:41

Twin Kev Cs will ownz one Kev Y for sure! :P
JookBoy (link) - 20 May '04 - 11:47

OMG kev, are you in [y] clan. Did you ever play broodwar? hahaha.
Mey - 23 May '04 - 05:45

?? Not that I recall Mey. Can I have more details?
JookBoy (link) - 23 May '04 - 06:24

[ConGeE] Clan beats [y] clan
Peedz - 23 May '04 - 20:04

Umm, it's just a rts game I used to play online. Used to speak to a few [y] ppl but I can't remember whether there was a Kev or not :P
Mey - 26 May '04 - 05:43

I never got into Brood War...maybe I couldn't get them Zerglings out quick enough. Haha, this is such nerdy talk!
JookBoy (link) - 29 May '04 - 16:32

The Curse Of Knowing Too Many People

I liked someone once. Sadly she was my flatmate's girlfriend's sister.
I liked someone else once. Sadly she was a friend of my ex.
I liked another someone else once. Sadly she was an ex of my friend.

In all cases, the reason for their lack of interest was not because I'm a bumbling fool (although I'm sure there are people out there who may think that is almost always the case :P), but rather, because of my linkages to the other party. The worse thing about these incidents was that (for 2 of them) I didn't even meet the person via the linkages that I had just described earlier.

What is it about linkages that make people feel uneasy? Do they feel that they are "sullying" the relationshp with their friend/ex/relo by liking someone else in the group? Will they be scared of social interactions that force the three parties to be together?

Granted, I would consider it quite off-limits to go after people that were, in past history, partners with my closer friends. What about acquaintances/less-close-friends? I find that nowadays I have this gut feeling that every mid-twenties Asian I see, I know them through some "six degrees of separation". If indeed this becomes more and more true (too many Friday night drinks!), will these scenarios come back to haunt me again and again?

I damn hope not...

On another note, if (as one of the linked people admitted readily) the person isn't even that close friends to your linkage, can this be a shady excuse for "I don't really like you"? :(

Damn! 19 cheap calls already:

There had to be a downfall of some sort in knowing "too many" people, right?
I think that i could in some way link everyone who is asian in my suburb and the 5 neighbouring suburbs, back to me. My point being...I dont like your chances...hehehe ;)
petals - 11 May '04 - 06:04

if there are still issues between the link and the girl, then forget about it, but if its long gone, and you both have interest then just go for it... sometimes we (and I do this all the time) over think situations and as a result we miss out on possible "great" experiences
ding! - 11 May '04 - 12:34

Thanks for the words of positive support, petals :)

And ding, in all cases, sadly the decision was made for me...it's pretty hard work to convince someone to consider if they've already made up their mind.
JookBoy (link) - 11 May '04 - 17:12

I find jedi mind tricks quite useful on these situations, Kev.
-Stephen- (email) (link) - 11 May '04 - 20:18

in the above cases, isn't the third party being a bit selfish? if you want to be with someone, and that someone wants to be with you, then in a circumstance where the path is clear (eg: you're both single) nobody else should get in the way. they're ex'es for a reason, the relationship didn't work out. they're not meant to be together. duh. is that suppose to stop the rest of everybody's life happening? think about it this way, if it's not you, it's just going to be another guy hitting on her. what's the difference?

or so what if she's a friend of an ex? or related to someone you're close to? i don't get why the linkage should get in the way, kev. if anything, the flatmate's gf should be telling her sis what a great guy you are. your ex should be thinking, "oh well, it didn't work out with us, maybe it'll work out better between them. best of luck trying to date that bastard" *grin*
reenie - 12 May '04 - 08:36

Reenie has a good point!
the vault (email) - 12 May '04 - 09:00

Maybe I didn't make myself clear in the post. The only person who objects is the person I like. The linkage person doesn't have any problems with the situation.
JookBoy (link) - 12 May '04 - 18:46

then maybe your other note was right... maybe they are using it as an excuse. I guess the only way to overcome these situations is to have a good time and show them what they're missing out on...
ding! - 13 May '04 - 06:36

I was gonna say that Reenie has a good point, but often its not the third party who is stopping it...its the other person that you are interested in.

The third person could be oblivious to it, and had they known...because they are not selfish, would insist that the two of you go for it! But that person doesnt know...and so therefore, you cant pin it on them for being selfish.

I think its a matter of the level of awkwardness that you are willing to overcome...some people are thick-skinned and so can take whatever that comes to them...whilst others have tissue paper thin skins, and rather not go through all the tough times just for a "chance" of a relationship working with all the "messy" details attached. Which really makes it there loss, if there is a loss.

Its like some people rather not explain how they met: "Oh, well...he went out with my sister about 6 months ago...and thats when we met..." at which point things go funny...can you handle it? if you can, then go do whatever you want, if you cant...your just gonna be more cautious. (btw, i dont have a sister...so im not speaking from experience...i could have said "he went out with my brother about 6 months ago..." *LoL* but that would be a lie too!)
petals - 13 May '04 - 10:45

Moving to another country always helps kev.
And i don't mean singapore or malaysia.
pskis - 13 May '04 - 14:38

yeah, try zimbabwe. it would be freaky to find 6 degrees of separation there.
Addy - 16 May '04 - 15:33

You would be surprised Addy :)
And yes, thanks for the advice pskis...but Singapore is so much fun!! :P
JookBoy (link) - 16 May '04 - 15:50

If you didn't know that many people, you wouldn't have met these girls in the first place. Think about that.
xtn (link) - 19 May '04 - 06:01

Stuff the connections. Go it :) Lifes too short mang...
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 17:49

I thought that the whole point of the 6 degrees of seperation theory was that everyone was connected to everyone else is some way or another, its just about figuring out how to make that connection (which was the basis of the 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon game). So for example, a farmer in Zimbabwe might know someone who knows one of the dropped Zimbabwean cricketers who knows a cricket coach in Australia who's company is being audited by someone from PWC, and that auditor happened to be in the same Uni class as Kev. With that in mind, then isn't everyone connected somehow? If you keep worrying about who knows who knows who and not spend time to get to know the person that you really want to get to know better (and then let what she finds out about you be the real merits in which she dismisses your romantic attempts) aren't you just making excuses. And if the girl you are after lets worries about the clash of interconnected friendships get in the way, then maybe she has problems with wanting to commit and is herself making up excuses to run away from romantic confrontation.

Or possibly, just possibly you haven't done enough to make the girl you're after lose her inhibitions, drop her apprehensions and open herself up to you. And if you've tried and tried and things still aren't going in your favour, then it's time to move on.
Dre - 20 May '04 - 10:15

Not much trying involved, to tell you the truth. And no, I'm not the one with the issue, unless that's what is coming across in my entry...
JookBoy (link) - 20 May '04 - 11:44

Im with muthaf*kn Dre. You gotz no issuez Kev.
Peedz - 21 May '04 - 14:18

just cant understand why friends dont want to see each other the happiest they can be. past is past...
pskis... singas works just fine.
bjee - 26 May '04 - 11:31

If there is a will, there is always a way. And if it doesn't work out, then at least you've tried. If you're afraid that people will talk, rest assured, people talk anyway, if it isn't about you doing one thing, it is probably about you doing another. Who really cares?
Stan (email) - 01 June '04 - 23:39