How Many People Tickle Your Fancy?

Was having a conversation with a friend (why do we always talk about this stuff Shuai? :)) and the discussion was based around this question:

Out of the people that you meet via your friends or by yourself ie a social setting, how many of them would you like to get to know better?

Now Shuai and I varied in our responses significantly. Assuming that I take a interest in (roughly) one person a month, I think I would meet say 100 people (two new people every Friday night hehe), that equates to 12%. According to comparisons with Shuai and others, that's majorly high.

I consider myself a friendly guy, and, judging from my latest personality test, I tend to look on the positive side for most people. Much like that email spiral action (which, by the way, has come crashing down like a house of cards) if someone is friendly to me, I'll be friendly back to them. I suppose this means that I easily get interested. As a friend on mine puts it ever so eloquently, I'm "ho'ing it up" :)

On the flip side, I'm never complaining that I don't meet enough people, that there's "noone worth pursuing", that it's a nunnery. You can only control yourself, right? So for all those lonely souls out there (which includes myself), I'm writing this down. Look for the positives in people, laugh at other people's jokes, make others smile. Cause if everyone does that, pretty soon someone will do it back to you, and maybe, just maybe, the percentages won't be single digits anymore :P

Damn! 21 cheap calls already:

How about the percentage of those 12 people that you are interested in that you end up dating (at least semi-seriously)?
al - 26 April '04 - 20:58

I think you left out the "laugh at urself too" factor. I think people need to be more lightened up, opened to meeting new people and friends should try to help introduce their friends to others...cos some ppl are just shy!

I bring my girl friends to some parties that i get invited to, and i introduce them to others...but they are just too shy...i even show them how easy it is to just start talking to people...it isnt working! my endeavours are becoming fruitless!
petals - 27 April '04 - 06:20

Do you want to get to know me... intimately?
Janey - 27 April '04 - 06:42

i agree with li-shuai - you can be friendly and get along with ppl you meet and it's all good but how many do you really "click" with, where getting to know them better is something that comes naturally...
mushiejc - 27 April '04 - 17:14

Sorry, this is a long comment...

There are some people that when you meet, you just click with, and it has happened to me before...and you just talk and talk and talk to the person...this is with both male and females.

But there are some people that you need to get to know over a period of time...and see them more frequently for that "click" to occur. I've met a few people over the past month, and i have spoken to them also, not enough to make us friends or for us to click, but i think given time, we could become really good friends...

I think the problem with the lonely souls today, is that people are choosing between "clicking" or "forgetting". By this i mean, some people will meet someone, and its either they hit it off, or they wont even bother making friends with someone just because they didnt "click", which in my opinion is silly...

I think the way to decrease the lonely soul feeling is to increase the number of friends, to meet more people and let the potential in clicking to grow. Like i said earlier, sometimes you need time to become a friend with someone to realise you do click and want to be more with that person.
petals - 28 April '04 - 05:32

does anyone else reckon that the number of people that you bother to remember has decreased enourmously since university days? ever since leaving uni, if i dont click straight away, i couldnt care less about remembering people.
ron - 29 April '04 - 01:25

hmm, al, currently, looking at 1.

Sometimes, petals, do you think that you have enough good friends, and hence can't be bothered to make new ones if they don't make the cut? Cause I'm sure I can list friends that I have neglected that I should make an effort to keep in touch with.

And yes Janey, I would :P ... this is so random haha
JookBoy (link) - 29 April '04 - 12:38

Hahahaha Jookboy - u're so cheap! Maybe you find that 12% cause all it takes if someone to go - "u want me?" and you're in for it! (as proven with that random call with Janey - though that's prob not the only example :) Always in, go it son!

Maybe the rest of us are too stiff ... I mean rigid ... I mean errr ... non friendly enough to accept or offer these random "I would like to get to know u better" call ...
Cheap Calls - 01 May '04 - 16:35

haha, dodgy bastard :)

So if someone says "I would like to get to know you better", you would be immediately suspicious? Why?
Do you think that you may not be good enough to get to know them?
Why not accept that friendly gesture?
What is the issue?
JookBoy (link) - 02 May '04 - 04:57

I do have many really good friends, and i make friends these days out of convenience. By that i mean, if i bump into the same people frequently, but not intending to, i take the chance to get to know them on those occasions.

Much like urself, Bill or Li-Shuai...i think you guys would be cool friends(Bill is currently on the borderline, cos he cant be swayed by a girl with tears in her eyes! Very cold Bill...very cold! *LoL*)...

But point is, i'm not going out of my way to get to know you guys all that much...its more like ive bumped into you guys through other friends when we are out and about and its silly not to speak to you guys cos you're there and are friends with my friends!
petals - 02 May '04 - 07:28

hrmm... but I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't feel the 'click' at all.
Janey - 02 May '04 - 14:06

haha, impressive that you realised we have no "click" after two sentences :)
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 05:23

Janey, if you bring the jelly, I'll bring the wading pool, the cream and the gerbil.

Baby, I'm feeling the click already!
Horn_dog - 04 May '04 - 10:42

To answer your comment, petals, friendships will occur either by effort or time...I concur that you will become friends if you see the other person frequently enough.
What I meant in my previous comments was if you did not have that time factor, would you make the effort to establish a friendship?
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 10:48

No, I wouldnt...thats what i meant by now, these days, I make friends out of convenience. If the time factor wasnt part of the equation I, personally, wouldnt make the effort...not today anyways! ;)
petals - 04 May '04 - 04:56

Ooooh yeah! Sorry JookBoy, but it seems like I've found someone else that can click with me. :P By the way Horn_dog, I like gerbils, but do you like strap-ons? Because I find a good marital aid is fundamental for a relationship to work.
Janey - 04 May '04 - 10:26

http://www.whooshka.net has now officially become a dating service!
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 17:40

jookboy - u might have to put one of those - "Only ppl over 18 yrs are allowed into this website" disclaimers! xxx'ing it up :)

for me, it's rare to meet someone who i would seek to spend more time with getting to know them ... i would more likely get to know them if I saw them regularly. It is most definitely different for a single guy ... I think u should be out and about getting to know many girls (law of averages)

i spose the main difference is wether u go after it (make a move) or you want things to just happen for you ...
Dessy - 05 May '04 - 06:32

A couple of my friends who have seen you around Kev would like to get to know you better. Hee!
riss (email) (link) - 10 May '04 - 17:37

hehe...w00t :)
JookBoy (link) - 10 May '04 - 18:29

Making further effort to get to know someone is probably a bit too unnatural off the bat. I mean, we all have our sorta "core" group of friends, that probably fulfull 90% of your friendship needs. Finding out whether you "click" with someone I dont think is the right term.

Developing a friendship is not just down to instant "clickage". There are other factors, which are as equally as important. Timing is a big one, hobbies, more chance meetings. Getting to know someone I dont think can't be forced, and you'll know someone better naturally if you see them maybe 10 times out.. just somewhere, and then if you pass this stage then perhaps it can develop into something more permanent.

Take us at uni for eg. It wasn't that all the BIT's in particular clicked instantly. It was the sharing of common experiences, and time day in day out that made it what it was.

btw, if there are any fine ladies around that are lonely, pass em up :P

My 0.02c :)
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 18:00

Nostalgia

It's been a year since I moved out of home and into the St Leonards pad. Just this Easter, I had to swing by the family house at West Pennant Hills to pick up some stuff. No-one was home during this time (parents had gone away), and I went into my room to grab my bag. And then it hit me, just scanning the room...that it's been a long long time since I've slept in that bed.

My parents had cleaned up the room, but all my stuff was still there...all the postcards that I've stuck up on my door from my travels, the framed pictures that friends and family have given me, the rows and rows of science fiction books that I had collected...so many memories.

I often wonder how people would be able to constantly move from one place of abode to another. Would they feel less grounded? Does life become more transient? I hope that I will be able to create that same feeling of nostalgia in my St Leonards home. For now, it was just good to know that what was once a place (in those rebellious teen years) that was just a bed, has now become a place of smiles.

Damn! twelve cheap calls already:

I have been living out of 'home' for 4 years... and thus i understand ur feeling... and yeah... when u go 'home' it really feels like..... 'home' and u wonder if ur new 'home' will ever feel like its true and u think of all the memories u had and have and will have and now im just rambling...... i miss 'home'
Addy - 18 April '04 - 18:32

I often wonder about that. I've never lived anywhere else coz my parents moved in before I was born.. and we've been living here since.

I wonder if ppl who move around a lot - do they feel unsettled? Or do they try make each place feel like home? Because being completely relaxed at home is not quite the same as relaxing somewhere else..

Maybe if you put some butter on your paws and then sit down and groom yourself and clean off, then you'll feel completely at home. :P
milli - 19 April '04 - 09:13

Do you think it is something that can be measured? like you stay in a place for say 2 years then it will feel like home. Or is it a matter of your frame of mind - making a conscious effort to create a "home" for yourself like putting up pictures and buying crockery. And does it make a difference if you are renting as opposed to owning (or parent's owning)?
siksp - 19 April '04 - 17:04

It's definitely a frame of mind thing. I think you can get settled very quickly...the ownership factor is probably a big influence.
JookBoy (link) - 19 April '04 - 18:10

I think it takes some time...which is dependant on the individual...and i think when you own your own place that time shortens, and the more "homely" u make it, the time shortens further more.

During the period of adjusting, i think people oscillate between "it feels like home" to "where am i?" and this happens when you get comfy and furniture and utensils get used (homely feel). Or (for example), when something that you expect to be located in a certain place, but its not there and it throws you...that sorta thing makes u feel miserable and miss the "home" u knew from before...so ur oscillating from good to bad...but finally there will come a day and u will feel at home and that u belong where u are.
petals - 20 April '04 - 09:36

You know, you guys should try growing up in Blacktown and living off public transport for your teen life *GRiN* It sure doesn't feel like home to me. And I think there's no way in hell I could ever live with my parents again. Then again, Waverton doesn't quite feel like home either. It's definitely comfy, but I think the label "home" implies "settling" and "contentment". Not ready for that mortgage yet :P
reenie (email) - 21 April '04 - 07:29

Oscillating is a great word i don't use enough of.
I'm oscillating between saigon and sydney.
pissk - 21 April '04 - 13:01

I like it too...which is probably why i use it!
*^_^*
petals (link) - 22 April '04 - 05:47

I think home is where your heart is. (cheese if you please!)
goodlittlegirl (email) (link) - 22 April '04 - 14:32

I'm oscillating mentally between Singapore and Shanghai

You know, my Mum has one of them signs in the kitchen!
JookBoy (link) - 26 April '04 - 19:17

Must be sumthin about cities starting with S.
kissp - 27 April '04 - 13:01