The Second Brain

I remember being told about the fact that dinosaurs had two brains, one to control the front, and one to control behind. Alas, this was only a myth.

I've long had a theory that this two brain phenonemon occurs in human. Studies have shown that there is a function at the bottom of the spine that allows instantaneous decisions to be made. For example, if you pick up a hot potato, there is no conscious decision to drop the potato, but rather the senses in the fingers feel the heat, these senses go to the spine, and then the reaction is to immediately drop the object.

Along those same lines, a guy has the ability to answer correctly questions posed by females, without any conscious decision-making process.

Case #1:

Girl: Do I look fat in this dress?
Guy: No.

Case #2:

Girl: Is that girl hot?
Guy: Not as hot as you.

Case #3:

Girl: Do you want to get in the back seat of my car and ...
Guy: Yes yes yes!

And so on a so forth.

Maybe it's instinct, like the fight or flight thing that humans have.
Maybe it's genetic, through bitter (and most likely bitch slapped) experiences of our forefathers.
Maybe it's just pure luck that we get the answers right.

In any case, hurray for that second brain!

Edit: After reading Beckster's post, the true answer is:

"It's an in-built function in the neanderthal male brain and heart that works on auto pilot whenever the particular 'special someone' comes into the equation."

w00t!

2nd Edit: After reading pskis' post, I have another one:

Girl: Am I an $800 TV?
Guy: No, $1000 at least.

Oh it's too cheap :)

Damn! 18 cheap calls already:

so did you get the big prize by giving those 3 correct answers?
ding! (link) - 20 October '04 - 16:59

Bottom line: If a girl is stupid enough to ask a guy a second brain question, then she deserves a second brain answer.

Nonetheless, I think I safely speak for a lot of girls when I say that guys can shove their suboptimal neanderthal second brain responses where the sun don't shine if that's the best they can do. Pffftttt.
beckster (link) - 20 October '04 - 17:32

ooooooo u tell these boys becks! tell em! tell em!
addy (link) - 20 October '04 - 18:17

I don't know that ur Edit does u any good jb. Aren't u saying that when that special someone is in the picture ur brain and heart give pre-programmed answers to those case questions? As in - u don't actually mean it when u say she doesn't look fat?
pskis - 25 October '04 - 05:15

tell it like you see it jb, practice what you preach! :)
ue - 25 October '04 - 10:19

Maybe you mean it just that little bit more when it's that special someone.
The thing is, you'll never say someone looks fat...it's just not gentlemanly. When you really care for them, you will actually believe what you're saying!
JookBoy (link) - 25 October '04 - 13:45

You've just f*xed us all Jookboy! We'll never get away with those throw-away lines now ...
Dessy - 26 October '04 - 08:02

Ue's right...you gotsta walk the walk too~

And co-sign to what Dessy said jb...what ever happened to "a gentleman never tells????" That goes for male secrets too! :P
ricegrains (link) - 26 October '04 - 11:08

Perhaps the point is that you answer what you believe the questioner WANTS to hear. Actually you 'respond' instead of 'answering'.

Any adult surely understands that when a woman asks you whether she looks fat in a dress she does not want anything other than NO. It is a no-win question for the guy, there are only potential negatives if he answers incorrectly or heaven-forbid honestly.

So the instant reponse is more to do with social conditioning. We have "learned" what is "right" to do for ourselves and others in these social situations.

As for shoving these male answers where the sun doesn't shine, well the questions should be the ones going up there :) Maybe I am wrong, howver when the same selfish questions get asked repeatedly, men are bound to respond without actively thinking. Yes there could be a case presented that men do not think EVER, however a simple rule holds; "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer".

Regarding the hot potato event, that is completely different. I failed neurobiology twice, so I will leave that one alone ;)
Taipan (link) - 27 October '04 - 09:02

i think bens almost got it downpacked guys. my usual 'i feel fat' comments follows with variations of 'dont be silly addy, youre not fat' from ben. ahh.. me luvs me boy :)
its all about being tactful. all you men have to learnt to be tactful about saying stuff. (including you bb)
addy (link) - 27 October '04 - 12:15

To be fair, I must say that girls are occasionally guilty of second brain answers too. Next time you boys ask intelligent, thought-provoking questions along the lines of 'am I buff?' or 'was it good for you too?', perhaps it's worth remembering that the second brain isn't gender specific.

Or maybe I shouldn't have said that as 'a lady never tells'.
beckster (link) - 27 October '04 - 18:56

hey dont dig a hole for us gal! HAHAAH
addy (link) - 27 October '04 - 20:11

haha, cheap calls all round!

We all need reassurance once in a while. It's just the frequency of this need which makes the difference.
JookBoy (link) - 28 October '04 - 07:19

I'm with beck, tho i am fascinated by the term "downpacked" addy.
pskis - 28 October '04 - 12:53

am i in the minority in actually wanting my boy to tell me if i look kinda tubby in a dress? cos yeah, i don't want my flab hanging out for everyone else to see either!
riss (email) (link) - 31 October '04 - 11:05

pskis, 'almost'
addy (link) - 31 October '04 - 17:21

Heres a second brain question for a gal:
"I'm *huge* aren't I?" :)

All females are just insecure. End of story. Guys too if the answer to the question above is "heheh..err... yeah"
PeeDz - 07 November '04 - 17:13

Damn, we've got a *second* brain?? Already my first brain keeps getting in the way when I'm trying to follow the teachings of my true master the one-eyed trouser snake. I don't need a second brain to intercept me just as the in-zone is within sight...

"Yeah, honey, you're... ummm... beautiful."

vs

"Whatever. Just spread em, biatch."

RC
randomcow - 14 November '04 - 06:07

Anna's Wild Boys Afloat

I remember the days of 21st's, and the skits that we used to do for our friends. They were hilarious, from dancing routines, to skits with guys dressed up as mums and grandmas, to our own version of Jeopardy. There was always some form of nudity, but with this latest effort, we've really sunk to new lows.

Anna is a friend of mine getting married this month. We were asked to perform a strip dance for her. Yes, ladies, complete with trenchcoat and the letter "A" on the front of my undies :)
It's actually quite intimidating to walk into a room full of chicks with nothing but those items of clothing on, especially since everyone's yelling and screaming, and they weren't even drunk!

People would say we like to flash ourselves. Believe me, my white upper thigh area is not something I want to show again in public for a long long time. The performance was good, everyone did their moves properly, and really it was all for Anna, cause we're all her friends.

However, if I was to ask my chick friends to do the same for a good guy friend of their who was going to get married, I am 100% certain they would say no. Why?? Yes, there is shame, but if you're friends....would any chicks out there be willing to step up and do a strip dance for a guy friend of theirs for their bucks?

Apparently there is a video floating around...damn you digital camera revolution!

Damn! three cheap calls already:

i think there is more than one video flying around and many photos too :) great performance guys - should i post up pics too??? ;)

And would you really want to see your chick friends doing a strip dance??? somehow i don't think so...just too weird!
mushiejc (link) - 12 October '04 - 04:56

ive seen ur sexy white upper thighs...... but with a letter A strapped to it? totally priceless.....
someone have a movie nite plsssssssssssss!! i gotta see this videoooooooooooooooooo
addy - 16 October '04 - 17:55

I demand royalties if this ever hits the airwaves :)
PeeDz - 07 November '04 - 17:10