The Seven Habits Revisited #1

Doing a little Christmas shopping for myself, and decided to buy this classic book for some inspirational reading. I've been feeling a bit out of sorts, and hoping this book will again point me in the right direction as it did the first time I read it.

One of the points in the book is that you should read it as though you are going to teach others about it, so I'm taking that path, and distilling the concepts for myself, as well as anyone else who cares to know. Plus, hopefully other people will point out things that I've missed. Of course, for those who don't care, there will still be plenty of other cheap calls on this website!

So here goes....

Habit 1 - Be Proactive
Until we take how we see ourselves into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world.
How we see ourselves depends on our attitude to determinism. If we believe wholly in determinism (that is, other factors ie genetic, psychic or environmental shape and limit our lives) then we will always blame others for how we react. We are not response-able.
The realisation must come that between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose. And the ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.

In most cases, it's not what happens to use, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. The three central values in life are the experiential, the creative, and the attitudinal, and it's the attitudinal (our response in difficult circumstances) that's the most mindset-changing.

Many people wait for something to happen or someone to take care of them. But people who end up with the good jobs are the proactive ones who are solutions to problems. Holding people to the responsible course is not demeaning, it is affirming.

Our language is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people.
Reactive Proactive
I can't ---> I choose
I must ---> I prefer
If only ---> I will
The word "love" is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. Love is a value that is actualised through loving actions.

The problems we face are in three areas; direct control, indirect control, or no control. Direct control problems should be the ones we deal with straight away, by changing our habits. Indirect control problems should be dealt with by changing our methods of influence. No control problems...just smile :)

Within your Circle of Concern are all these problems. Within your Circle of Influence are the things you can personally change. It's about character focus within the Circle of Influence, and the greater your focus in the Circle of Influence, the larger it becomes. And as always, it's the language that is use. The focus word is "be"...be a better listener, be a more dedicated employee, or just be happy.

Mistakes should be acknowledged instantly, corrected and learnt from. "Success is on the far side of failure".

There are two ways to put ourselves in control immediately. We can make a promise - and keep it, Or we can set a goal - and work to achieve it. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honour becomes greater than our moods.

Actions:
1. Determine which category your problems lie in. Focus only the direct control problems and go from there.

Damn! six cheap calls already:

My mum is qualified to lead those Seven Habits courses for work, she has tried to get me to get into the habits for years but I can't be stuffed. It's too much effort to be conscious of them all, I got to Habit 1 and gave up.
riss (email) (link) - 21 December '04 - 03:38

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
JT (email) (link) - 21 December '04 - 07:55

Justin Timberlake has a point
Googleeyes - 21 December '04 - 08:32

Thanks for typing that up dude. Are you going to be proactive and type up the whole book for us? Thanks in advance.

RC
randomcow - 28 December '04 - 04:23

I can be proactive and shove that comment up your ass :)
However, it won't be a win-win situation.....but then again.....
Jookboy (link) - 28 December '04 - 17:35

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a priceless book. At least in my experience, I have found it be filled with timeless priciples that have profoundly changed my life.
If you are not interested in improving your life, do not read it. If you are willing to accept ordinary relationships with others and yourself, do not read it.
The first principle, Be Proactive, is the most important principle. As riss pointed out, if you are not motivated from within (proactive) you will not achieve anything.
The principles in the book allow you to appreciate that success and happiness can only be achieved within yourself. They are not determined by your income, job or status. Anyone who is looking to be a leader either at work in another area of their life must read the book. It is no good to wait for someone else to summarise the book or teach the habits to you. Habit 1 is Be Proactive ie if you want something GO AND GET IT!
Kev, regarding you feeling out of sorts you should know that Habit 7 (the hardest habit) is the key to avoiding those feelings - Sharpen The Saw!!! The problem with "achievers" is that they are never satisfied, regardless of how much they achieve.....sound familiar Kev? ;)
Taipan (email) (link) - 29 December '04 - 03:42