Rollercoaster

If there's one thing that I have learned being single, it's that there is much less of a consistency to life. Really it is just higher highs and lower lows, and that's tough sometimes, especially when in a foreign city.

There is an unrivaled freedom in being single. Going hard on a Tuesday night, staying in on a Saturday, meet up with people on the spur of the moment...don't get me wrong, being in a relationship does not prevent you in any way from doing this, it's usually prior plans and consideration for your partner that would limit the number of those "why the heck not?" questions being answered in the positive. The calendar becomes a lot more fluid when I am single.

Of course, the loneliness can be quite depressing. Waiting for friends to call you back, staying in on Saturday because there are no plans, it's quite easy to spiral downwards with those "what am I doing here?" questions. This is the first time I have lived by myself as well, which magnifies these thoughts as there is no one to interact with. On the positive side, It is also a learning experience. To be able to rely on myself, back myself, it's something that I am slowly learning. At least my cooking is getting better!

The possible key is to just fill up the calendar with activities. Stop waiting for things to happen and make them happen myself. Let's see how that turns out. Acting class starts Monday.