I Saw Four Girls Kissing Each Other

Melbournians seem to party harder than Sydney-siders! Everyone that I encountered at this club was (or was acting) substantially more drunk than people back home...or maybe it was just the people I met? :)

Anyways, getting back to the title of this post (it wasn't just for getting the hits on the website up, I swear!) I have to admit that I didn't particularly enjoy the spectacle of it, and since most people (guys, especially) would look at me in shock, let me try to explain it...more so for my own benefit.

So it goes something like this.

In most of these situations of girls pashing other girls, they are at a level of intoxication that is close to intolerable (unless, of course, you are that way inclined, in which case this does not apply). It's very hard at that point in time to have a decent conversation with that girl. Hence there is nothing that I can find from their personality that makes me like them. Hence I didn't particularly enjoy the spectacle.

Did that make sense?

However, I did towards the end of the night meet a chick that I could talk to properly, and she was, in my eyes, much cooler than the rest. And no, nothing happened, for those cheap call makers out there!

I think the promise of drunk booty has never been high on my list of ways to hook up, and have reached an age where a good conversation is a million times better than grinding from some random inebriated chick. Of coure, grinding from a chick I just had a good conversation with is probably a million times better than just a conversation! haha

For those who are coming down to Melbourne some-time soon, and would like to go to some quality R'n'B clubs, Amber Lounge was pretty good on Friday nights. Evolution is also on Friday nights, but it seems to have more of that attitude. I think Amber Lounge had a more friendly atmosphere. Of course, Next Blue is on Saturday nights, which I went to in October...won't be there tonight, since I'll be back home.

A big thanks to James for taking me out and letting me crash at his pad. You da man mate!

I've always wondered if I'd have the courage when a chick says to me "want to see two girls kiss" to ask if I can get involved...the answer it seems, is I'm still waiting for that courage :)

Damn! six cheap calls already:

i've seen 6 girls pashing. and they were my friends. ah, memories of drunken high school parties.
riss (email) (link) - 29 May '04 - 17:56

I've just worked out, the event always sounds better when you hear about it second-hand!

It's a fantasy thing, I suppose...sadly reality never lives up to the dream :)
JookBoy (link) - 29 May '04 - 20:35

good conversations _really_ _are_ hard to come by these days, the thing is there are always reservations from one or both parties just because one or both think the other party has a hidden agenda, which is kinda blah...

maybe i should've posted this on that 'nice guy' entry by dolla bill.

whatever.
ue - 30 May '04 - 05:44

Keeeeeeeeeeeeev, maate your problem is that to get onto drunk chicks, you have to be maggared yourself, then it makes more sense :)

re: ppl partying harder down there, its just the company you keep in Syd :P

Also, I dunno bout you, but I dont know about going into a niteclub if you want good conversation, its like looking for peace in Iraq :P
Peedz - 01 June '04 - 19:44

ah yes, once again trusty peedz is spot on the mark
kev i have to say your comment went pear shaped as soon as you said "let me explain"...
see y'all on fri 25th
bjee - 07 June '04 - 18:45

I Wish I Could Take Photos Like These

Only 40,000 Qantas Frequent Flyer points to get to Hong Kong!

In the meantime, enjoy these quality photos...

Damn! four cheap calls already:

The first time i went to HK...the plane landed at like 10pm HK time...and it was during the Christmas season...the city really lights up beautifully, i really enjoyed that first trip...(this was before the airport became an island out in the water).

Pity, i was only 11 y/o and i didnt appreciate it as much then, as i do now.
petals - 23 May '04 - 07:53

quality shots those. but forgot the main tourist attraction... ezzzz
use your 40k and i'll see you there for a wkend!
god bless carnegies wednesday ngihts and bar none S&M parties.
bjee (email) - 26 May '04 - 11:23

hehe...it just doesn't seem worthwhile :)
Tell Burt to get back to me about that job!
JookBoy (link) - 29 May '04 - 16:31

i will when i see him. think he's gone to japan or thailand or somewhere for work
besides i've hardly been around lately anyway
bjee - 07 June '04 - 18:42

Newsflash!! Evil Twins Spotted!

Oh dear...

Thanks for letting us crash your place again Helen! Happy Birthday mate.

Damn! twelve cheap calls already:

nasty
ue - 16 May '04 - 19:08

tasty!
ding! - 17 May '04 - 06:24

gawd diggidy!! haha. Dude, you should have fused the left part of xtns, and right part of yours together..
oh oh oh! :)
Mey - 18 May '04 - 06:54

Yes... well... we all have to entertain ourselves somehow
xtn (link) - 19 May '04 - 06:00

That is nasty. Very. Hurts me in fact. The thought of three kevs running around... *shudder*
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 18:03

Just like to add that it was taken with one camera....there has been no Photoshop action involved. Love the Casio digital!
JookBoy (link) - 20 May '04 - 11:41

Twin Kev Cs will ownz one Kev Y for sure! :P
JookBoy (link) - 20 May '04 - 11:47

OMG kev, are you in [y] clan. Did you ever play broodwar? hahaha.
Mey - 23 May '04 - 05:45

?? Not that I recall Mey. Can I have more details?
JookBoy (link) - 23 May '04 - 06:24

[ConGeE] Clan beats [y] clan
Peedz - 23 May '04 - 20:04

Umm, it's just a rts game I used to play online. Used to speak to a few [y] ppl but I can't remember whether there was a Kev or not :P
Mey - 26 May '04 - 05:43

I never got into Brood War...maybe I couldn't get them Zerglings out quick enough. Haha, this is such nerdy talk!
JookBoy (link) - 29 May '04 - 16:32

The Curse Of Knowing Too Many People

I liked someone once. Sadly she was my flatmate's girlfriend's sister.
I liked someone else once. Sadly she was a friend of my ex.
I liked another someone else once. Sadly she was an ex of my friend.

In all cases, the reason for their lack of interest was not because I'm a bumbling fool (although I'm sure there are people out there who may think that is almost always the case :P), but rather, because of my linkages to the other party. The worse thing about these incidents was that (for 2 of them) I didn't even meet the person via the linkages that I had just described earlier.

What is it about linkages that make people feel uneasy? Do they feel that they are "sullying" the relationshp with their friend/ex/relo by liking someone else in the group? Will they be scared of social interactions that force the three parties to be together?

Granted, I would consider it quite off-limits to go after people that were, in past history, partners with my closer friends. What about acquaintances/less-close-friends? I find that nowadays I have this gut feeling that every mid-twenties Asian I see, I know them through some "six degrees of separation". If indeed this becomes more and more true (too many Friday night drinks!), will these scenarios come back to haunt me again and again?

I damn hope not...

On another note, if (as one of the linked people admitted readily) the person isn't even that close friends to your linkage, can this be a shady excuse for "I don't really like you"? :(

Damn! 19 cheap calls already:

There had to be a downfall of some sort in knowing "too many" people, right?
I think that i could in some way link everyone who is asian in my suburb and the 5 neighbouring suburbs, back to me. My point being...I dont like your chances...hehehe ;)
petals - 11 May '04 - 06:04

if there are still issues between the link and the girl, then forget about it, but if its long gone, and you both have interest then just go for it... sometimes we (and I do this all the time) over think situations and as a result we miss out on possible "great" experiences
ding! - 11 May '04 - 12:34

Thanks for the words of positive support, petals :)

And ding, in all cases, sadly the decision was made for me...it's pretty hard work to convince someone to consider if they've already made up their mind.
JookBoy (link) - 11 May '04 - 17:12

I find jedi mind tricks quite useful on these situations, Kev.
-Stephen- (email) (link) - 11 May '04 - 20:18

in the above cases, isn't the third party being a bit selfish? if you want to be with someone, and that someone wants to be with you, then in a circumstance where the path is clear (eg: you're both single) nobody else should get in the way. they're ex'es for a reason, the relationship didn't work out. they're not meant to be together. duh. is that suppose to stop the rest of everybody's life happening? think about it this way, if it's not you, it's just going to be another guy hitting on her. what's the difference?

or so what if she's a friend of an ex? or related to someone you're close to? i don't get why the linkage should get in the way, kev. if anything, the flatmate's gf should be telling her sis what a great guy you are. your ex should be thinking, "oh well, it didn't work out with us, maybe it'll work out better between them. best of luck trying to date that bastard" *grin*
reenie - 12 May '04 - 08:36

Reenie has a good point!
the vault (email) - 12 May '04 - 09:00

Maybe I didn't make myself clear in the post. The only person who objects is the person I like. The linkage person doesn't have any problems with the situation.
JookBoy (link) - 12 May '04 - 18:46

then maybe your other note was right... maybe they are using it as an excuse. I guess the only way to overcome these situations is to have a good time and show them what they're missing out on...
ding! - 13 May '04 - 06:36

I was gonna say that Reenie has a good point, but often its not the third party who is stopping it...its the other person that you are interested in.

The third person could be oblivious to it, and had they known...because they are not selfish, would insist that the two of you go for it! But that person doesnt know...and so therefore, you cant pin it on them for being selfish.

I think its a matter of the level of awkwardness that you are willing to overcome...some people are thick-skinned and so can take whatever that comes to them...whilst others have tissue paper thin skins, and rather not go through all the tough times just for a "chance" of a relationship working with all the "messy" details attached. Which really makes it there loss, if there is a loss.

Its like some people rather not explain how they met: "Oh, well...he went out with my sister about 6 months ago...and thats when we met..." at which point things go funny...can you handle it? if you can, then go do whatever you want, if you cant...your just gonna be more cautious. (btw, i dont have a sister...so im not speaking from experience...i could have said "he went out with my brother about 6 months ago..." *LoL* but that would be a lie too!)
petals - 13 May '04 - 10:45

Moving to another country always helps kev.
And i don't mean singapore or malaysia.
pskis - 13 May '04 - 14:38

yeah, try zimbabwe. it would be freaky to find 6 degrees of separation there.
Addy - 16 May '04 - 15:33

You would be surprised Addy :)
And yes, thanks for the advice pskis...but Singapore is so much fun!! :P
JookBoy (link) - 16 May '04 - 15:50

If you didn't know that many people, you wouldn't have met these girls in the first place. Think about that.
xtn (link) - 19 May '04 - 06:01

Stuff the connections. Go it :) Lifes too short mang...
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 17:49

I thought that the whole point of the 6 degrees of seperation theory was that everyone was connected to everyone else is some way or another, its just about figuring out how to make that connection (which was the basis of the 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon game). So for example, a farmer in Zimbabwe might know someone who knows one of the dropped Zimbabwean cricketers who knows a cricket coach in Australia who's company is being audited by someone from PWC, and that auditor happened to be in the same Uni class as Kev. With that in mind, then isn't everyone connected somehow? If you keep worrying about who knows who knows who and not spend time to get to know the person that you really want to get to know better (and then let what she finds out about you be the real merits in which she dismisses your romantic attempts) aren't you just making excuses. And if the girl you are after lets worries about the clash of interconnected friendships get in the way, then maybe she has problems with wanting to commit and is herself making up excuses to run away from romantic confrontation.

Or possibly, just possibly you haven't done enough to make the girl you're after lose her inhibitions, drop her apprehensions and open herself up to you. And if you've tried and tried and things still aren't going in your favour, then it's time to move on.
Dre - 20 May '04 - 10:15

Not much trying involved, to tell you the truth. And no, I'm not the one with the issue, unless that's what is coming across in my entry...
JookBoy (link) - 20 May '04 - 11:44

Im with muthaf*kn Dre. You gotz no issuez Kev.
Peedz - 21 May '04 - 14:18

just cant understand why friends dont want to see each other the happiest they can be. past is past...
pskis... singas works just fine.
bjee - 26 May '04 - 11:31

If there is a will, there is always a way. And if it doesn't work out, then at least you've tried. If you're afraid that people will talk, rest assured, people talk anyway, if it isn't about you doing one thing, it is probably about you doing another. Who really cares?
Stan (email) - 01 June '04 - 23:39

How Many People Tickle Your Fancy?

Was having a conversation with a friend (why do we always talk about this stuff Shuai? :)) and the discussion was based around this question:

Out of the people that you meet via your friends or by yourself ie a social setting, how many of them would you like to get to know better?

Now Shuai and I varied in our responses significantly. Assuming that I take a interest in (roughly) one person a month, I think I would meet say 100 people (two new people every Friday night hehe), that equates to 12%. According to comparisons with Shuai and others, that's majorly high.

I consider myself a friendly guy, and, judging from my latest personality test, I tend to look on the positive side for most people. Much like that email spiral action (which, by the way, has come crashing down like a house of cards) if someone is friendly to me, I'll be friendly back to them. I suppose this means that I easily get interested. As a friend on mine puts it ever so eloquently, I'm "ho'ing it up" :)

On the flip side, I'm never complaining that I don't meet enough people, that there's "noone worth pursuing", that it's a nunnery. You can only control yourself, right? So for all those lonely souls out there (which includes myself), I'm writing this down. Look for the positives in people, laugh at other people's jokes, make others smile. Cause if everyone does that, pretty soon someone will do it back to you, and maybe, just maybe, the percentages won't be single digits anymore :P

Damn! 21 cheap calls already:

How about the percentage of those 12 people that you are interested in that you end up dating (at least semi-seriously)?
al - 26 April '04 - 20:58

I think you left out the "laugh at urself too" factor. I think people need to be more lightened up, opened to meeting new people and friends should try to help introduce their friends to others...cos some ppl are just shy!

I bring my girl friends to some parties that i get invited to, and i introduce them to others...but they are just too shy...i even show them how easy it is to just start talking to people...it isnt working! my endeavours are becoming fruitless!
petals - 27 April '04 - 06:20

Do you want to get to know me... intimately?
Janey - 27 April '04 - 06:42

i agree with li-shuai - you can be friendly and get along with ppl you meet and it's all good but how many do you really "click" with, where getting to know them better is something that comes naturally...
mushiejc - 27 April '04 - 17:14

Sorry, this is a long comment...

There are some people that when you meet, you just click with, and it has happened to me before...and you just talk and talk and talk to the person...this is with both male and females.

But there are some people that you need to get to know over a period of time...and see them more frequently for that "click" to occur. I've met a few people over the past month, and i have spoken to them also, not enough to make us friends or for us to click, but i think given time, we could become really good friends...

I think the problem with the lonely souls today, is that people are choosing between "clicking" or "forgetting". By this i mean, some people will meet someone, and its either they hit it off, or they wont even bother making friends with someone just because they didnt "click", which in my opinion is silly...

I think the way to decrease the lonely soul feeling is to increase the number of friends, to meet more people and let the potential in clicking to grow. Like i said earlier, sometimes you need time to become a friend with someone to realise you do click and want to be more with that person.
petals - 28 April '04 - 05:32

does anyone else reckon that the number of people that you bother to remember has decreased enourmously since university days? ever since leaving uni, if i dont click straight away, i couldnt care less about remembering people.
ron - 29 April '04 - 01:25

hmm, al, currently, looking at 1.

Sometimes, petals, do you think that you have enough good friends, and hence can't be bothered to make new ones if they don't make the cut? Cause I'm sure I can list friends that I have neglected that I should make an effort to keep in touch with.

And yes Janey, I would :P ... this is so random haha
JookBoy (link) - 29 April '04 - 12:38

Hahahaha Jookboy - u're so cheap! Maybe you find that 12% cause all it takes if someone to go - "u want me?" and you're in for it! (as proven with that random call with Janey - though that's prob not the only example :) Always in, go it son!

Maybe the rest of us are too stiff ... I mean rigid ... I mean errr ... non friendly enough to accept or offer these random "I would like to get to know u better" call ...
Cheap Calls - 01 May '04 - 16:35

haha, dodgy bastard :)

So if someone says "I would like to get to know you better", you would be immediately suspicious? Why?
Do you think that you may not be good enough to get to know them?
Why not accept that friendly gesture?
What is the issue?
JookBoy (link) - 02 May '04 - 04:57

I do have many really good friends, and i make friends these days out of convenience. By that i mean, if i bump into the same people frequently, but not intending to, i take the chance to get to know them on those occasions.

Much like urself, Bill or Li-Shuai...i think you guys would be cool friends(Bill is currently on the borderline, cos he cant be swayed by a girl with tears in her eyes! Very cold Bill...very cold! *LoL*)...

But point is, i'm not going out of my way to get to know you guys all that much...its more like ive bumped into you guys through other friends when we are out and about and its silly not to speak to you guys cos you're there and are friends with my friends!
petals - 02 May '04 - 07:28

hrmm... but I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't feel the 'click' at all.
Janey - 02 May '04 - 14:06

haha, impressive that you realised we have no "click" after two sentences :)
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 05:23

Janey, if you bring the jelly, I'll bring the wading pool, the cream and the gerbil.

Baby, I'm feeling the click already!
Horn_dog - 04 May '04 - 10:42

To answer your comment, petals, friendships will occur either by effort or time...I concur that you will become friends if you see the other person frequently enough.
What I meant in my previous comments was if you did not have that time factor, would you make the effort to establish a friendship?
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 10:48

No, I wouldnt...thats what i meant by now, these days, I make friends out of convenience. If the time factor wasnt part of the equation I, personally, wouldnt make the effort...not today anyways! ;)
petals - 04 May '04 - 04:56

Ooooh yeah! Sorry JookBoy, but it seems like I've found someone else that can click with me. :P By the way Horn_dog, I like gerbils, but do you like strap-ons? Because I find a good marital aid is fundamental for a relationship to work.
Janey - 04 May '04 - 10:26

http://www.whooshka.net has now officially become a dating service!
JookBoy (link) - 04 May '04 - 17:40

jookboy - u might have to put one of those - "Only ppl over 18 yrs are allowed into this website" disclaimers! xxx'ing it up :)

for me, it's rare to meet someone who i would seek to spend more time with getting to know them ... i would more likely get to know them if I saw them regularly. It is most definitely different for a single guy ... I think u should be out and about getting to know many girls (law of averages)

i spose the main difference is wether u go after it (make a move) or you want things to just happen for you ...
Dessy - 05 May '04 - 06:32

A couple of my friends who have seen you around Kev would like to get to know you better. Hee!
riss (email) (link) - 10 May '04 - 17:37

hehe...w00t :)
JookBoy (link) - 10 May '04 - 18:29

Making further effort to get to know someone is probably a bit too unnatural off the bat. I mean, we all have our sorta "core" group of friends, that probably fulfull 90% of your friendship needs. Finding out whether you "click" with someone I dont think is the right term.

Developing a friendship is not just down to instant "clickage". There are other factors, which are as equally as important. Timing is a big one, hobbies, more chance meetings. Getting to know someone I dont think can't be forced, and you'll know someone better naturally if you see them maybe 10 times out.. just somewhere, and then if you pass this stage then perhaps it can develop into something more permanent.

Take us at uni for eg. It wasn't that all the BIT's in particular clicked instantly. It was the sharing of common experiences, and time day in day out that made it what it was.

btw, if there are any fine ladies around that are lonely, pass em up :P

My 0.02c :)
Peedz - 19 May '04 - 18:00

Nostalgia

It's been a year since I moved out of home and into the St Leonards pad. Just this Easter, I had to swing by the family house at West Pennant Hills to pick up some stuff. No-one was home during this time (parents had gone away), and I went into my room to grab my bag. And then it hit me, just scanning the room...that it's been a long long time since I've slept in that bed.

My parents had cleaned up the room, but all my stuff was still there...all the postcards that I've stuck up on my door from my travels, the framed pictures that friends and family have given me, the rows and rows of science fiction books that I had collected...so many memories.

I often wonder how people would be able to constantly move from one place of abode to another. Would they feel less grounded? Does life become more transient? I hope that I will be able to create that same feeling of nostalgia in my St Leonards home. For now, it was just good to know that what was once a place (in those rebellious teen years) that was just a bed, has now become a place of smiles.

Damn! twelve cheap calls already:

I have been living out of 'home' for 4 years... and thus i understand ur feeling... and yeah... when u go 'home' it really feels like..... 'home' and u wonder if ur new 'home' will ever feel like its true and u think of all the memories u had and have and will have and now im just rambling...... i miss 'home'
Addy - 18 April '04 - 18:32

I often wonder about that. I've never lived anywhere else coz my parents moved in before I was born.. and we've been living here since.

I wonder if ppl who move around a lot - do they feel unsettled? Or do they try make each place feel like home? Because being completely relaxed at home is not quite the same as relaxing somewhere else..

Maybe if you put some butter on your paws and then sit down and groom yourself and clean off, then you'll feel completely at home. :P
milli - 19 April '04 - 09:13

Do you think it is something that can be measured? like you stay in a place for say 2 years then it will feel like home. Or is it a matter of your frame of mind - making a conscious effort to create a "home" for yourself like putting up pictures and buying crockery. And does it make a difference if you are renting as opposed to owning (or parent's owning)?
siksp - 19 April '04 - 17:04

It's definitely a frame of mind thing. I think you can get settled very quickly...the ownership factor is probably a big influence.
JookBoy (link) - 19 April '04 - 18:10

I think it takes some time...which is dependant on the individual...and i think when you own your own place that time shortens, and the more "homely" u make it, the time shortens further more.

During the period of adjusting, i think people oscillate between "it feels like home" to "where am i?" and this happens when you get comfy and furniture and utensils get used (homely feel). Or (for example), when something that you expect to be located in a certain place, but its not there and it throws you...that sorta thing makes u feel miserable and miss the "home" u knew from before...so ur oscillating from good to bad...but finally there will come a day and u will feel at home and that u belong where u are.
petals - 20 April '04 - 09:36

You know, you guys should try growing up in Blacktown and living off public transport for your teen life *GRiN* It sure doesn't feel like home to me. And I think there's no way in hell I could ever live with my parents again. Then again, Waverton doesn't quite feel like home either. It's definitely comfy, but I think the label "home" implies "settling" and "contentment". Not ready for that mortgage yet :P
reenie (email) - 21 April '04 - 07:29

Oscillating is a great word i don't use enough of.
I'm oscillating between saigon and sydney.
pissk - 21 April '04 - 13:01

I like it too...which is probably why i use it!
*^_^*
petals (link) - 22 April '04 - 05:47

I think home is where your heart is. (cheese if you please!)
goodlittlegirl (email) (link) - 22 April '04 - 14:32

I'm oscillating mentally between Singapore and Shanghai

You know, my Mum has one of them signs in the kitchen!
JookBoy (link) - 26 April '04 - 19:17

Must be sumthin about cities starting with S.
kissp - 27 April '04 - 13:01

The Email Spiral

A friend warned me of a phenomenon in email that I feel myself being drawn towards.

It's called the "email spiral" (or something like that), and work basically like this:
Someone that you know keeps in contact with you via email, and only email (or more generally, the Internet).

What happens is that, naturally, people will put their best foot forward, and present themselves in the best possible light. Now there is nothing wrong with presenting yourself in a positive image. However, the difference between real-time interaction and this kind of contact is that both parties have the ability to edit what they say, and how that say it (much like that "Seven Days" video by Craig David), whereas in a face-to-face situation, they don't have that luxury.

What follows is that the emails get longer, the correspondence more meaningful, and you find yourself falling for your perception of someone as they would want to see themselves, rather than who they really are. Coupled with the fact that you are interpreting their emails the way you want to (who here can tell when someone is being sarcastic in other people's emails unless there is that "" tag, or random ":P" and ":)"??) leads to a dangerous gap between the reality of that person and your perception of them.

Inevitably, the meeting will occur, and this is where sadly hopes are dashed, and that Prince Charming or Independent, Funny, Cutey guy/girl fantasy is blown away.

I'm not saying that there is a solution to this problem, and I for one am deeply engaged in this activity as I write this post. However, it's good to be aware, and once in a while, give them a call, and see if that "internet spark" exists in real-time :)

Damn! fourteen cheap calls already:

sometimes its just best to let the fantasy be...
ding! - 02 April '04 - 18:43

I agree. Don't let it go too far before phonecall and/or meeting.
xtn (link) - 04 April '04 - 08:03

gone through the email thing...and its fun for the sake of fun, but i prefer meeting a person face to face...and i dislike generating expectations for myself, where it turns out to be inextricably too high for the person to reach...which is my own fault!
petals - 04 April '04 - 11:17

So what do you do if the person is overseas? More international phone calls?
And petals, are you referring to you hyping yourself up too much, or them hyping themselves up too much, to be reachable?
JookBoy (link) - 04 April '04 - 19:48

I hype the situation too much...i set expectations that the other person will never meet. So, its my fault not theirs that they turn out to be just themselves.

I, personally, wouldnt even pursue a person that was across the water...altho ino of girls who married guys they met while on holiday in another country. The girls stayed in that country instead...so they didnt have to make too many international calls. hehehe...and now they are married and have beautiful half-cast babies... ^_^
petals - 05 April '04 - 08:57

shoot...that still didnt answer ur question! ahahahhaa...what i mean is...i set these expectations of the guys...for example...from emails...i interpret what they write to be what i want it to be...i envision him to be something close to my "ideal" guy...which the likelihood of him turning out to be Mr Right is very slim...

id be picturing a very articulate passionate guy...and yet he could just be a well thought out person who sat at the computer for hours trying to decide on what to write to me!

hopefully that clears things up...
=)
petals - 05 April '04 - 09:14

is it worth going to such lengths for an international relationship?
ding! - 05 April '04 - 13:12

How well did u know the person before all the emails?
And who warned u about this phenomenon?
pskis - 05 April '04 - 16:32

haha, always for that Eurasian look :) That staying overseas seems like a mighty step to take...
Yes, everyone can be that "passionate articulate guy" on email...it's strange (from my experience, anyway) that people can become so attractive so fast!

Pskis, the assumption is that you don't know the person that well prior to email contact...otherwise, in most cases, you would have already have quality time face-to-face. And a friend warned me :P
JookBoy (link) - 05 April '04 - 18:26

And ding! The romantic answer is "of course!"
JookBoy (link) - 05 April '04 - 18:27

Oh bother,
The story of my life!! HAhahah I'm a sucker for words, over numbers, unencumbered numbered worrrrds...

I should really listen to the caring words of xtn and "GET OFF THE INTERNET, MEY!" ^_^
Mey - 06 April '04 - 11:05

*LoL* yeah mey, 'u and i both' should listen to him - and get off the net! *^_^*
petals - 07 April '04 - 04:18

I think it also depends on how perceptive you are, whether or not you can tell if what they're saying is just a load of faff or if they're really being sincere. I think after a couple of emails or chats online you can deduce certain things about them by the way they write, not necessarily by what they say but by the way they say it (does that make sense?)
riss (link) - 07 April '04 - 06:18

And that is the main issue with emails, right riss? That by only reading words, you are unable to get the inflection that comes with thsoe statements, and hence the ability to tell whether that person is sincere or not is made even harder. Coupled with the fact that they can edit what they write, and anything can happen...

And no, stay on the internet! Otherwise no one will comment :)
JookBoy (link) - 07 April '04 - 06:38

Asia Boy-Band Tour

For want of a better title...the trip consisted of Singapore for the first weekend, Jakarta/Bali for the week, and then Singapore back for the second weekend. Thanks to BJ and Teddy for their wonderful hosting abilities. Top ten:

1. Seeing Jo topless every time I checked into his room, and that was waaay too many times. :)
2. Buying bottles of vodka just to get a table at one of the bars in Singapore (of which I thoroughly recommend..."Bar None")
3. Musro...a karaoke place that turned out to be full of "hostesses". It was just like that scene in "Rush Hour 2", for those who have seen the movie...and no, I didn't go around saying "I"ll take you, you and definitely you!"
4. Surfing at Uluatu, a famous surfing joint in Bali. Getting out to the waves involves paddling out through a grotto areea, with pounding waves along the sides. Scary stuff!
5. The cheapness of the watermelon juice.
6. The driving skills of my Indonesian friend. It was just like the video games!
7. The power of the Aussie Battler...it ownz that Singas Dollah and Indo Rupiah
8. Me paying more money to sterilise the gifts that I bought back from Bali than the actual gifts themselves. Do not bring back banana leaf or bark back to Oz. Bad move.
9. The boyz...the calls were so cheap, yet so funny. A trip to remember. And of course...
10. The girls. There's a plethora of women there! I'm going to have to move to Singapore :P

And here are some of the pictures taken from the trip.

Don't Worry Be Happy

Having an extended lunch with a friend today, and with him going through some tough emotional times, the discussion moved to how he felt he had lost his happiness.

With regards to happiness, he had a theory. In his mind, happiness is not a constant, but the up peaks in a series of up and down emotional experiences. Like you may be happy when a certain event occurs, but you will move back to your "normal" state of mind after a certain period of time, be that 5 seconds, 5 minutes, or 5 days. To which I replied, you have have to increase your "normal" state of mind, so that you feel happier all the time. He thinks, however, that if this is the case, your will normalise that feeling, and it will take more and more extraordinary events to bring you to a state of happiness.

Can feeling happiness be like feeling rich? You will always want more of it, and in the end, there is not enough happiness in the world to satisfy you? I have to say that I found the whole theory quite cynical.
He was the first to admit that he was surprised at how cynical he and his friends had become. Everyone was dissatisfied with their present situation, and everyone felt that deserve more than what they were getting.

Most likely it's true, and we all deserve more. I just hope that those guys realise the luckiness of the situation that they are in. My only gripe is the fact that people do not leverage the positions they are in. The biggest shame is to waste all the talents and opportunities that you have been given in this life to make it a better place, both for yourself and for those around you.

Maybe that is what happiness is all about...that you know you are pushing yourself to be everything that you can be.

General Update

Two things happened this weekend. I completed my diving course (woohoo! Certified for 18m anywhwere in the world) and Alwin had is Coogee Beach BBQ. Good to see you again, mate! Of course, the real fun began when the alcohol magically appeared at Helen's place that night. As you can see, things go progressively worse. Note to self: drink a lot more water before going to bed. Thanks Anton for lending me a couch :-)

But first a decent group photo...